Wish You Were Here
by Her Sweetness
Summary: All three of the hikaris are going on a weekend cruise. They've also arranged for Marik, Bakura and Yami to go on a camping trip as well, so they can bond. Will the yamis be able to survive the wild and each other? FINISHED!
1. No, you can't come

Her Sweetness: Hello, my faithful readers! Well, here we are at my next fanfic… starting things like this always make me wonder if I'll actually finish. But that depends on how many reviews I get.  
So, anyway, let's go ahead and begin.

Wish You Were Here

Chapter 1:

It was a quiet and tranquil June morning in the city of Domino. The streets were veiled in a thick fog and mist, which made it much harder for people to guide their way through it. Especially for Marik, who was never any good at navigating anyway.

"Now, let's see…" Marik looked at the map that his hikari gave him earlier. It was of the neighborhood, and had a star marked on the Game Shop. He flipped it around and sighed, "Damn it. Why didn't he just wake me up?"

It was about ten more minutes before Marik wandered back into an area he was familiar with. The eye on the top of the Game Shop was starring at him as he went inside.

"Hoo…" Marik leaned against the door, "That was a long walk."

"Oh, hello, Marik!" Grandpa yelled cheerfully from behind the counter. He walked over and shook Marik's hand, although Marik refused to shake back.

"So, where's Malik? He left a note taped to my head telling me to come here for some stupid meeting."

"Malik and everyone else are waiting for you upstairs. They'll all be in Yugi and Yami's room, go down the hallway and it's the second door on your right."

Marik trudged up the stairs, went down the hallway and looked around for their room. He stopped at a door that said 'Yugi and Yami's Room!' and knocked.

Shuffling could be heard inside and Yugi's small voice saying, "What's the password?"

"…" Marik growled, "What do you mean password? You'd better let me in there right now, you little twerp, or I'll…!"

The door quickly opened and Yugi was hiding behind Yami as Marik walked in and looked over at Malik who was sitting next to Ryou and Bakura was on the other side of Yami.

"Hi, Marik. You're late." Malik said simply.

"That's because that map you gave me was defective."

"…" Malik smirked, "Just sit down, Marik."

"Okay… what's going on here?"

"We don't know." Bakura shrugged, "Ryou, Malik, and Yugi dragged us in here and we were just waiting for you."

Marik sat down and glared at Yami, "And what are you doing here, Pharaoh?"

"I live here! And anyways, why does it matter to you? We've been just sitting here for twenty minutes waiting for you to hurry up."

"Why don't you just shove it? I got lost!"

"There's the surprise of the century." Yami yawned and turned to Yugi, who was now sitting on the other side of the room with the other hikaris, "Yugi, now that he's here, will you tell me why we're having this meeting?"

Yugi looked at Ryou, "Why don't you tell them? It was your idea."

Ryou blushed, "Of course. Well, we were talking it over last week and we were saying how taking care of you all has kind of been tiring, so-"

Bakura gasped, "WHAT! I-I know what this is! I saw this exact thing in a movie once!"

Marik and Yami looked at him, "Huh?"

"There was this movie on at three in the morning and all the husbands got tired of taking care of their fat, lazy wives! So, they tied them up and threw them into the ocean!"

Yami looked at Yugi, Bakura looked at Ryou, and Marik looked at Malik. There was about two minutes of awkward silence until Yami said, "Wait a minute, that was totally ridiculous! T-Their not going to throw us away… are you?"

"No!" All three hikaris screamed at once.

"Good…"

"Jeez." Malik rolled his eyes, "Ryou was just saying that we need a vacation. There's this weekend cruise we saw in a brochure…"

"See?" Yugi held up a little pamphlet with a nice, big cruise ship on the front and 'Rain-Shine Cruise Line' across the bottom. "It's a really exclusive cruise line and Malik won tickets!"

"…Hooray!" Bakura and Marik got up and danced around the room, "We're going on a well-disserved vacation! This is awesome!"

Yami wasn't dancing, but a small smile could be seen on his face, "Yay."

"Um…" Ryou looked at them, then back to Yugi and Malik, "Should we tell them before this gets out of hand?"

Malik nodded, "Hey, calm down you three! You're not coming. I won three tickets, meaning only three people can go."

Bakura and Marik stopped in mid-tango. Marik looked at Ryou and Yugi, "…Well, sorry, you guys. I guess that means only me, Bakura and Malik are going. You guys can housesit."

"Marik, that's not what he means! We're going and you, as in yamis, aren't. And that's that." Yugi folded his arms, "We need time away from you all. Having a yami is driving us all to drink."

Bakura looked at Ryou, "So, that's what happened to all the vodka."

"It's not exactly the kind of cruise line you'd want to come on anyway. It's a spiritual-cleansing trip. It's supposed to help you unify you mind, body and spirit." Ryou sighed happily, "You're supposed to relax and make yourself pure. Not run amok, which is what you would do, Bakura."

"Well, what are we supposed to so while you three are cleansing yourselves on the cruise?" Marik sat back down, "Just sit here and collect dust?"

"No…" Malik grinned, "Actually, we were thinking about something for you three to do productively while we're gone."

They looked at each other cautiously, "What…?"

"We think that you guys don't spend enough time together… bonding." Ryou smiled, "So, we've arranged for Yugi's grandfather to drive you away on a weekend camping trip. Just the three of you, doesn't that sound nice?"

Yami screamed and jumped into Yugi's lap, "Yugi! No, please! Don't make me go on a trip with Marik! He'll kill me! And with no witnesses out in the forest, it'll be twice as easy!"

"Bakura can be a witness of your murder." Marik grinned, baring all his fangs. "Isn't that right, Bakura?"

He nodded evilly, "Yeah, I'll be a witness for you."

"Ahh!" Yami clutched tighter to Yugi's shirt, "No way! Uh-uh! Yugi, please tell me this is a joke of some kind! Some sick, modern-day joke!"

"Oh, Yami, stop it." Yugi dumped him on the floor, "This'll be good for you. All of you. It's called fresh air."

They still groaned and pouted.

"Either you go on that camping trip or you can stay here and you can help Grandpa with his knitting. What are you going to do?"

"…" Marik looked at Bakura and Yami. They nodded solemnly and Marik turned back to Malik, Yugi, and Ryou. "Okay, okay… I guess, we'll test it out."

Suddenly the door burst open and Grandpa came running in with a bunch of bags and suitcases strapped to his old shoulders. He was beaming from ear to ear, "We'd better get moving if we want to beat the traffic!"

"Oh, and I think we forgot to mention you're leaving tonight." Ryou grinned sheepishly and pointed to all the bags, "We've packed for you."

Yami shook his head in disbelief, "Ra, you're just pushing us out the door…" 


	2. Down the mountain

Wish You Were Here

Chapter 2:

By the time that they were all hyped and ready to go, it was around noon or maybe a little after. Yugi was holding the cruise tickets in his hand and Ryou and Malik had all the bags in their car. Marik was leaning on the side of Grandpa's van and watched as everyone made their little goodbyes.

"This is going to be the first time we've been away from each other in almost a year!" Yami and Yugi were teary-eyed as they hugged each other.

"Don't worry Yami," Yugi wiped his face off with his sleeve, "I'm sure Marik and Bakura will take very good care of you."

"Ugh… If you say so, Yugi. But I'm sleeping with one eye open."

"Bakura…" Ryou made puppy-dog eyes at his yami, "Don't have such a sour look on your face. You should be excited."

"Oh, for Ra's sake." Bakura groaned and looked at Ryou, "You know, I'm still gonna be mad at you for making me go."

"It isn't going to be so bad. Watch, by the end of the weekend you three are going to be tighter than leather underwear. It'll be fun."

"… Yeah, whatever."

Marik wasn't saying anything to Malik, who was standing right next to him. "Aw, come on. You're not going to see me for two whole days. Don't you at least wanna say bye?"

"No."

"Ooh!" Malik balled his fists, "Fine, then, I hope you burn in hell!"

"Okay, boys!" Grandpa had finished putting in the last of the yamis bags and hopped out of the van, "Let's shake a tail feather and get ta going! We wanna beat the traffic!"

"Well… I guess this is it." Yami said as Yugi headed for the other car, "Um, bye, Yugi."

"Don't get all weepy, you big girl! Here." Yugi held out a cell phone and put it in Yami's hands.

"Hmm? What is this?"

"It's a cell phone, silly. I know you probably don't know how to use it but you can call me anytime you want on it. So, don't cry."

"Do Marik and Bakura get a cell phone as well?"

"Urm, no. Malik and Ryou thought you should have it. Knowing Marik and Bakura, they'd use it to make obscene phone calls. So, you get to be the responsible one."

"O-Okay." Yami cheered up and hung the cell phone's strap around his neck, so that it hung right next to his millennium puzzle.

Grandpa honked the horn enthusiastically, Marik and Bakura were already inside and Yami climbed in last. They started to drive off as Malik, Yugi, and Ryou waved goodbye and took off in the opposite direction.

Yami starred out of the back window making little whimpering noises, "…"

"Oh, come on!" Marik groaned, "Yami, stop being a hikari's boy. You don't need Yugi with you 24/7! You've got to be your own man!"

"What do you know, Marik? You didn't eve say goodbye to Malik!" Yami shouted.

"He didn't care! It's only gonna be two days!" Marik whipped his head around to the passenger's seat, where Bakura was, "Bakura, man, back me up on this!"

"Eh… eh…" Bakura tried to hold back his sobs, but they all came rushing out, "AaAAaaAA…! Augh… Ry-Ryouuuu! I-I didn't… even s-s-say byeeeeee!" Soon, both Bakura and Yami were bawling extremely loud. Marik was sitting in the middle seat about to jump out the window, "This is so stupid!"

"Calm down," Grandpa yelled over all the screaming. He patted Bakura's spiky silver hair and turned on the radio, "Maybe some golden oldies will make them feel better!" He directed that at Marik.

The Temptations were playing and suddenly, Yami and Bakura's yells and screams turned into just sniffles.

'I've got sunshine… on a cloudy day… When it's cold outside… I've got the month of May. I guess you'll say what can make me feel this way- My girl…!'

Grandpa nodded his head in time with the music, "See? Isn't that much better?"

"At least it made them shut their faces." Marik rolled his eyes and sighed, "So… Gramps, where are we heading?"

"Well, Yugi showed me this map and…" He dug in his pockets, pulled out a colored piece of paper, and turned around to show Marik, "That star is where we're heading."

"Oh… yeah, well, what's that moon over there?"

"That's where the forest ranger's cabin is supposed to be. If you need anything, you should go there and-"

"Hey! Old man, who's driving!" Bakura screamed from the front seat. The van had veered off the road and they were racing downhill, through a cornfield.

Grandpa turned back around and grabbed the steering wheel, "Holy Toledo!" He tried to turn the wheel, but it wasn't moving, "Bakura, did you do something?"

"No… well, I got my dagger stuck in it… but that was an accident." Bakura bit his lip to keep his grin from showing.

The van jumped off a ramp and landed in a little stream. The water wasn't deep so, they didn't get stuck and kept going. Bakura was covering his eyes, as Grandpa maneuvered around the trees and managed to get the dagger out of the jammed steering wheel. Pretty good for an old man, right?

"Bakura, you dork!" Marik screamed as he bounced around in the seat, "It's your fault were gonna die!"

"Look on the bright side!" He shouted back, "Yami's gonna die, too!"

Marik nodded thoughtfully, "Well, there's that."

Grandpa looked in the rearview mirror at Yami, who was surprisingly calm, "Yami! Are you okay? Did you bump your head? Are you alive?"

"Do you think that if he was dead, he'd be sitting there, breathing?" Bakura asked sarcastically, "And keep your eyes on the road… o-or grass!"

Yami looked up, "Yes, I'm okay. I'm rather enjoying this."

"You fr-freak!" Marik was trying to stay seated, but it was hard when he never put his seatbelt on. "Stop the damn van! Can't you control your own vehicle?"

He slammed on the brakes and the van came to a screeching halt, right at the edge of a cliff. They were teetering on the edge and Grandpa sighed with relief, "Well, that was lot's o' fun, right boys?"

"If you call peeing in your leather pants fun, then, yeah, it was lot's of fun…" Marik fell backwards in his seat and sighed.

"We'd better backtrack. I bet we missed the campsite by four or five miles." Grandpa reached for the gear and accidentally shifted into drive instead of reverse. The van began to roll down the cliff and bounced from rock to rock. A huge dent was made on the hood and the engine caught fire. The fire spread to the front wheels and came up to the window shield.

"Ahhh!" Everyone, even Yami, screamed and jumped out the side windows. Grandpa had his seatbelt on and, thus, didn't make it out.

Along with the three boys, a few bags fell out of the sunroof. The van bounced off the ground, over the next cliff and into the river. It washed down stream and over the fifty foot waterfall.

Marik and Yami had landed in a couple of bushes. They sat up and watched the van tumble over the falls. Yami rushed over to the edge, his eyes wide with disbelief, "Grandpa…? Wait. Did Yugi's granddad make it out, Marik?"

"Eh, no. I don't think so." Marik put his left shoe back on, "You seen Bakura?"

"What's wrong with you! Yugi's grandfather just… h-he just… Oh, Ra!"

"Yo, Marik!" It was Bakura's voice, "Get me down from here! You know I'm afraid of heights!"

"Bakura?" Marik looked around. He didn't see anything. Suddenly, an acorn shot itself right into Marik's ear. He looked up and saw Bakura in a tree, "Oh."

"Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness!" Yami was going under cardiac arrest as he paced back and forth around the tree that Bakura was in, "What am I going to tell Yugi? He's going to be so upset!" 

"Relax." Bakura said, "I mean, he didn't have that many years left, anyway. At least he went out in a blaze of glory. Yugi would be proud."

"Jump, I'll catch you." Marik held out his arms and Bakura jumped down and landed on Marik's head, temporarily paralyzing him. They got up looked at Yami.

"Stop your whining. What's done is done." Marik cracked his neck and spotted the bags on the ground. "Hey, look, we've still got our stuff. We should-"

Ring. Ring. Ring. Yami neck started to make noise. It was the cell phone that Yugi gave him. He fiddled with it and lifted it to his ear, "Cell phone?"

"Heh heh. Hi, Yami." Yugi was chuckling, "We're on the boat! It's so beautiful out here! How're you guys? Did you reach the campsite, yet?"

"Oh… um, yes. We're here. It's nice, thank you, Yugi."

"You don't sound too good. Are you okay?"

"Y-Yes. I'm just a little… uh, homesick." In Yami's mind, he debated over whether to tell Yugi about his grandpa's untimely passing or not, "Yugi? I have to tell you-"

"Oh! Hey, I gotta go, Yami, we're about to go to a 'lamas' class. Ryou signed us up for it. I wonder what it is… Oh, well, see you!"

Bleep-bleep-bleep… Yami pressed some more buttons and the cell phone fell back down with the millennium puzzle. 'This isn't good.' 


	3. Setting up camp, their way

Wish You Were Here

Chapter 3:

No matter what Marik or Bakura did, Yami was still moody for the next hour or so. He wasn't talking much, which is what Marik liked best. Bakura was getting agitated with his silence, he didn't like it when people gave off bad vibes.

"You know, Yami, you need to get over it. Like Marik said, what's done is done. It's not like it was you're fault, anyway. It was just fate." Bakura said, sitting down on the forest floor.

Yami glared, "What do you know about fate? That was all an unfortunate event."

"Ooh, yeah," Marik smirked, "Did you tell Yugi about his grandfather? He's gonna be pretty mad. I heard him talking to you before we left… he called you the 'responsible one'. How's it going to look when Gramps dies and you were in charge."

"Y-You're right… what am I going to do? Yugi's going to disown me!"

"Lighten up. You can worry about being disowned later. But right now, we've got bigger problems."

"Like what?"

"What do you mean 'like what'? We're in the forest, it'll be getting dark in a few hours, our bag with the food in it got washed down the river… like that. Sheesh."

"Guess so. So, while it's still light outside we should probably build camp." Yami opened on of the bags, "Lucky for us, we've still got one tent left."

"One!" Marik and Bakura shouted in unison, "One, as in all three of us will have to sleep together?"

"Dramatic much? I think we should divide up the jobs before it gets dark and we wont be able to do anything. We need to get a fire going, and set up the tent… and get food, too."

"Um, guess that sounds okay. I'll get the tent set up." Bakura volunteered, "It shouldn't be too hard. After all, it comes with instructions."

Marik looked at the ground and picked up a twig, "I shall be collecting the wood… I like fire."

There was a moment of silence.

"Anyway." Yami continued, "That means I'm going to have to look for food."

"Your job is easy, Pharaoh. All you have to do is use that phone of yours to order pizza. Or Chinese. Which do you like better, Marik?"

Marik was already picking up more sticks that he found around the trees, "I'll eat anything with meat in it. If you're going to order pizza, then make sure it's pepperoni with sausage and anchovies. Maybe some horse wouldn't be too bad, either…"

"I'm not ordering pizza! Do either of you have a problem with eating herbs and wild flowers? We might be able to find some mushrooms, as well. And maybe berries-"

"Flowers? Mushrooms and berries? You can't eat that kind of stuff from the wild! We don't even know where we are. As far as we know, we could be in uncharted territory." Marik rolled his eyes, "I'll look for the food while I'm getting firewood. You just help Bakura."

Marik picked up a flashlight and walked off into the woods. Yami turned around and watched Bakura struggling with the tent, "I could help you-"

"I got it." He said and continued to fumble and wrap the tent around himself.

Yami sat down and sighed.

Meanwhile, on the Rain-Shine Cruise Line, Malik, Ryou, and Yugi had just gotten back from their game of limbo that they played with some of the other passengers. They'd been back in their suite, ordering room service when Yugi sighed, rather sadly.

"What's wrong, Yugi?" Ryou asked, "Aren't you having fun? You won at limbo and you didn't even had to bend down."

Malik picked up the phone, "I think it was that shrimp he ate. It must've been sitting out too long."

"No. Um, it's nothing like that. I'm just sort of worried about Yami. He didn't sound okay on the phone. He sounded kind of weird. I sure hope Marik's not being too cruel."

"Oh, I'm sure Marik knows his limitations." Malik hushed them, then asked, quietly, "Hey, what do you guys want for dinner?"

Ryou patted his stomach, "I'm trying to watch it, so just a salad."

"I'll have a hamburger with everything on it."

"Don't tease me, Yugi, I'm on a diet!" Ryou pouted, "I don't think I can watch while you eat a hamburger."

"Oh, Ryou, stop it." Malik giggled, "You don't need to watch it. So, I'm ordering you both a hamburger. This cruise is in celebration of our yami-free weekend. We have to live for the moment."

"Okay. And Yugi, that means you have to stop worrying about Yami as well. He'll be fine, this weekend is about you."

Yugi grinned and scratched his head, "Yeah, okay. Let's party!"

Back at the campsite, Yami was watching as Bakura set up the tent. He wasn't doing such a good job at first, but he started to get the hang of it after turning it into a dress, then tepee, and then a mat.

"Aha!" Bakura put his hands on his hips in triumph. "Yup, I'm a bad man, but I did such a good job. Hey, Yami, what do ya think?"

Yami looked at the tangled mess that resembled a tent that had been through a hurricane or two. "… I suppose I can fix it before we go to bed."

"Humph! What do you know? This looks great!"

"You couldn't even get inside. Much less all three of us." Yami poked the side, "It's all… crushy-looking."

"I can fit in there!" Bakura got on all fours and crawled inside. Yami could see his shadow and knew right away that Bakura was struggling to get out, "Hey! Hey, let me out of here, help!"

Yami yawned and went back to the little bench he made out of a log, "I wonder what's taking Marik so long. How long does it take for someone to pick up some tasty berries?"

Bakura's head popped through a hole in the roof of the tent, "He's not getting any goddamn berries! If he does, he'll answer to me! Berries… jeez."

"He sure has been gone a long time… I hope nothing bad has happened."

"Why do you care?" He tried to untwist the poles, "You guys never get along. Why start liking him now?"

"I'll never like Marik! The thing is, Yugi told me I'm the responsible one…" Yami looked down at his cell phone, "That's why he, Malik and Ryou gave me this. I've already let something bad happen to Grandpa. No one else is going to die. Not on my watch."

"Oh, Yami, I feel so safe."

Suddenly a loud thumping noise was heard from the woods behind Yami. He scrambled up and hid behind the tent that was intertwined with Bakura. It was only Marik, though. He came out with a bundle of sticks in one hand and three dead squirrels in the other.

"Hi, guys." He sat down the sticks a little ways away from the tent. "Yami, get over here and make the fire. I've got cooking to do."

Yami mumbled Egyptian curses under his breath and went over to start the fire. "You can't order me around Marik, I'm in charge."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just 'cause you've got a phone hanging around your neck, doesn't mean you're our Pharaoh all of a sudden."

Bakura cleared his throat and pointed to Yami's millennium puzzle.

"Oh. Yeah." Marik shrugged it off and went over to see what Bakura was doing with their tent. It was up… for the most part. The poles that were supposed to keep it to the ground were twisted in the front and bent in the back. Bakura thought he'd done a pretty good job and when he stood up, he asked Marik what he thought.

"Urm… Yeah." He scratched his head, "I-It's cool, all right."

Bakura grinned, "I knew it. That Yami doesn't know what he's talking about."

Yami overheard their conversation and growled, 'That tent doesn't look any more fit to sleep in than Marik does. They don't know what they're talking about… And why wont this damn fire start?'

He stopped trying to rub the sticks together, like he saw on television, and looked around for a rock. Marik came over, picked up the sticks, and ran them quickly across the surface of Yami's millennium puzzle. The fire started and he let it catch to the rest of the wood.

"Oh. Thank you."

"Ah, don't mention it. I know you're a spoiled little prince that's never been in the real outdoors." He smirked, "Just be thankful I'm with you."

"What! Marik, you say one more thing about…" Yami stopped in mid-sentence. "What's the smell? It smells like something's… BURNING!" Yami looked down and saw that his foot was on fire.

"Ahh! Ahh! Help me!" He hoped around on one foot around the campfire and screamed at the top of his lungs. "Do something!"

"Heh heh heh…" Marik sat there and watched with amusement, "Hey, Bakura, look at this."

Bakura dropped what he was doing, ran over to the river, scooping a little bit of water in his hands. Of course, before he could throw it on Yami, it all fell through his hands. Bakura tried this method about three or four times before he figured out that it wasn't going to work.

"Well," He sat down next to Marik, "I've done all I can do."

"How long do you think it'll take him to finally jump in the river?"

"I dunno, but the way it's going, he might only have one foot left."

Yami heard them and followed their advice about jumping in the river. He held on to the side of a tree so he wouldn't get washed away, but submerged his entire body in the water.

When he got out, his foot was no longer on fire, but his hair was beginning to look like a red, black, and blonde afro. All the water must have washed out his hair gel.

"…" Marik and Bakura starred at him, when he first came out, not saying a word.

Yami walked right by them and said severely, "Don't. Say. A. Word."

At the same time, the two taller yamis burst out in laughter, "Wah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! D-Did you see that? Yami's got an… an afro! Eh he he he he he he he he he!"

"Shut-up! Shut-up! Shut-up!" Yami pouted and ran into the crushy-looking tent that Bakura had previously set up.

Somewhere way down the river, there was a little pond that ended the cycle of the waterfalls. That's were a little, rusty, green van washed up and lay undisturbed on the side of the bank.

The sliding door of the old van jiggled and opened, and an old man came tumbling out. He stood up and popped his shoulder back into place. "Hmm? Where am I?"

He looked back up the river and looked at a few waterfalls that were high and dangerous. "Boys?" 


	4. Dinner and a show

Wish You Were Here

Chapter 4:

Bakura and Marik tried to coax Yami out of hiding in the tent for the rest of the evening. But he wouldn't budge until his hair was back to normal. Marik wanted to just leave him in the tent, "I hope he rots!" He proclaimed, but Bakura gave Yami some gum that he'd been chewing and, surprisingly, it worked just as well as the hair gel would've.

Yami was happy again and strutted out of the tent with his neatly groomed head held high.

Marik rolled his eyes and continued to cook. He'd already skinned the squirrels and stuck them on sticks over the fire, so it'd be easy to roast them. Of course, Marik knew that Yami wouldn't go near it, if he knew it was freshly caught squirrel. So… he disguised it.

"Okay, it's ready!" Marik shouted, "You'd better come get it before it gets cold!"

Bakura came running and slid right in front of the fire, "Finally! You got the squirrels all cooked up, right? I told you I like it medium rare."

"Shh! I don't want the Pharaoh to know they're wild meats." Marik picked up one of them and wrapped a few leaves around it, and filled the eye sockets with berries. "I'm going to see if he notices anything…"

"Marik, you're sick." Bakura laughed, then quieted down when Yami came trotting over, "Heh… hey, Yami."

"Hello. Marik, I hope you didn't pick anything vulgar to eat out in the woods. You know what I said about all that-"

"Relax." Marik handed the squirrel with the leaves and berries on it to him. Yami didn't notice anything at first, which was strange because of the fact that the tail had fallen off onto Yami's shoe. Still, he didn't notice and Bakura was about to explode from the laughter he was keeping in.

Marik sat there and watched, "See, Yami? I got a bunch of sissy berries and flowers just for you." He used his fake-friendly smile.

"Wow, that was nice of you. Maybe you're not so bad after all."

Bakura cackled and Marik glared at him, so it turned into a cough.

"Hurry up at eat it before the flowers wilt."

Yami nodded and took a bite. As he swallowed, his eyes wandered down to his shoe, where the burnt and shriveled squirrel tail lay. Yami's eyes widened and he backed up, stumbling and tripping over the logs of wood.

"Mrm!" Came his muffled scream. He still had a large chuck of the leave-covered squirrel in his throat and he forgot to swallow. Yami took a closer look at the food he had in his hand and realized that it was a roasted, headless squirrel.

"Whraaaaa!" He hit himself hard in the chest and the squirrel head came flying out of his windpipe. Coincidently, it hit Marik in the middle of his forehead.

"Ah! Yami, you dork!" He held his head, "What was that for?"

Yami was on all fours, coughing and hacking.

Bakura was sitting down, eating his squirrel calmly, "Hey, that was cool."

"That was nasty." Marik rubbed the saliva off of his forehead and sat next to Bakura, watching Yami toss his cookies in the river.

When Yami was done, he staggered over to Marik and pointed at him, "Y-You snake! You gave me a dead squirrel!"

"So, what? Bakura's eating it."

"I'm not Bakura! I'm Yami and you should treat me with more respect! I mean, really!" Yami folded his arms, "All you ever do is pick on me!"

"And all you ever do is complain!"

"You give me more than enough reasons to complain!"

It went back and forth like that for about ten more minutes. Bakura had finished off his squirrel and he sat there, being bored. "Urg. Shut up, the both of you! You're giving me a giant head-"

"Awhooo!"

Yami and Marik stopped in mid-argue and looked at Bakura. Marik tilted his head, "W-Was that you?"

"No." Bakura shook his head and looked around. He just noticed that the sun had already set and it was almost pitch-black.

"Awhooo!" the strange noise came again from the forest.

Suddenly, it was as if Marik, Yami, and Bakura were the best of friends. They clung together on the wooden bench and were shaking like little leaves. It was quiet for about two or three minutes and then Marik realized what he was doing.

"G-Get off me!" He pried Yami and Bakura's hands off of his waist and neck. "What are you, a bunch of lilies?"

Bakura cleared his throat and stood up, "I don't know what you're talking about, Marik. I saw a bug on you and I tried to flick it off."

"Yeah, right." He looked down, "And what's your excuse, Pharaoh?"

"Uh… I-I don't know. But there's no need to be frightened, you guys. It was probably just a wolf. H-He won't bother us."

Marik looked a little worried at first, then he smirked, "Heh. I'm not afraid of some dumb wolf."

"Awhooo!"

"Gah!" Marik jumped about two feet in the air, "Um, let's do something to take our minds off of that stupid animal. Something… anything."

Yami sat down next to Bakura and shrugged, "Well, you wanna play chess? Yugi taught me how about a week ago."

"Sure, Yami. Let's chop down a tree and make it into a chess board." Bakura said sarcastically, "And then, while we're at it, let's put on thick glasses and play with robots. Jeez, you think of the geekiest stuff."

"Humph! Then let Marik think of something. You seem to be much more fond of his ideas." Yami folded his arms.

"What does that mean?"

"All right, cut it out." Marik paced around them. He tripped over something, looked down and saw a flashlight. "Hmm…" He picked it up and sat down across from Yami and Bakura on the other side of the campfire.

"'Kay, guys, if you're itchin' for something to do, how about a ghost story game?"

"Ghost story game?" Bakura and Yami asked, curiously, "What kind?"

"It goes like this… one person starts a scary story, and they do only a little bit. Then it's the next person's turn to do a little more of the same story. It keeps going around and around until we finish. I saw it on some show Malik made me watch."

"Okay." They shrugged.

"Good, I'll go first." Marik smirked and held the flashlight below his face, giving a spooky glow all around him, "Okay, once upon a time, there was a little girl named Yamiko. She was sitting in a tent, one night, on a class fieldtrip to the park. The rest of the class was already asleep and little Yamiko was left scared and alone…"

Yami wasn't amused. He watched, dully, as Bakura took the flashlight and began to pick up where Marik left off, "It was around midnight, and just as little Yamiko was about to fall asleep, she heard a noise from outside the tent. She grabbed her flashlight and went to see what it was…"

Bakura let Yami have the flashlight and he decided to try and savage this story, "When 'Yamiko' went outside, she saw that it was just a tree branch, laughed at how silly she was, then went back inside and dreamt about playing with dolls… or whatever girls think about."

Marik grabbed the flashlight, "Over in the next tent there were a couple of little boys named Marikan and Bakurayo. Marikan was getting really ticked that Yamiko hadn't gotten herself eaten yet. So, he went to the zoo and let out all the bears. They came into Yamiko's tent and tore of her tri-colored wig."

"She ran home crying and died of embarrassment." Bakura said.

"The end!" Yami cried and threw his hands up in the air, exasperated, "Goodness grief. You two are some piece of work."

Bakura and Marik looked at each other then busted out laughing.

Yami shook his head and sighed, "You're both weird. And that story wasn't scary at all. And I'm not a little girl!"

Marik waved away his comment, "If I had told one of my seriously scary stories, Yami, you'd be peeing in your pants right about now. You're already on edge. I knew those bears I threw in would make your knees wobble."

"What? I'm not on edge-"

Ring-Ring-Ring! "Yah!" Yami screamed and hoped into Bakura's lap, "Uh… uh, it's my cell phone."

Bakura rolled his eyes and dumped Yami on the floor. He held the phone to his ear a pressed a button, "Yes, cell phone?"

"Yami, it's me."

"Hello, Yugi. How's your… uh, cleansing?"

"It's fine, Yami. But have you heard from Grandpa? He was supposed to be home around three o' clock this afternoon and it's already ten. I'm really worried."

"…" Yami was starring into space. He had to think fast, 'Oh Ra, what am I going to tell him? I-I can't lie… I can't lie… I've never lied to Yugi, I can't start now!'

"Yami? Are you there?"

"Uh…" Yami was looking at Bakura and Marik for help. But all they did was laugh and tee-hee at poor Yami's confusion, "Oh, Yugi, I have to cell phone you back. I'll talk to you later."

Bleep-Bleep-Bleep. Yugi put the phone back on the cradle and sighed, confused. "Well, that was strange."

"What's wrong, Yugi?" Ryou asked in mid-yawn. He was in his own bed on the other side of Malik's. He turned over and faced Yugi, "Did Yami say something?"

"N-No… it's what he didn't say that I'm worried about."

"Still haven't found your Grandfather? Oh, dear. Where do you suppose he could be?"

Malik turned over in his sleep and make a little gurgling noise in the back of his throat, His hand fell off the side of the bed and he wrapped the cover even tighter around himself.

"It doesn't seem like Malik's having any trouble sleeping. You should get some rest, Yugi. I'm sure your Grandfather will turn up soon. As for Yami, stop worrying. You don't see me fussing over Bakura, now, do you?"

"No. Heh, you're right, I guess. G'night." He flicked the light switch and went to bed.

In the middle of the forest, somewhere, there was a shadow figure wandering through the night. He slunk from the safety of one tree to another as the moon grew larger in the sky and cast light on the ground below. The shadow peeked around and came into full view of the bright orb. He stretched his arms and kept going, with a song on his lips.

"Oh Susanna, don't you cry for me… 'cause I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee. Awhooo!" He howled and did a little jig to go along with the singing.

"I wonder where I am," He said aloud and looked at the map that he had in his pocket. "The ranger's cabin should be a little bit north of Cake Mountain. All I have to do is make it there, then I can call for help… 'cause I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee. Awhoo!" 


	5. Midnight entertainment

Wish You Were Here

Chapter 5:

It was a little before midnight when Marik, Bakura, and Yami were sleepy enough to go to bed. Of course, Marik and Yami had to work together to fix the tent. Seeing as how it was a complete mess. Bakura took this rather personally and pouted a little bit, before it was all fixed and looked like it was supposed to.

While Yami was down at the river, brushing his teeth (because that's what Yugi trained him to do), Marik and Bakura were in the tent thinking of something they could do to Yami.

"That spoilsport was the only reason my story wasn't scary." Marik complained, "And why does he get to be the 'responsible one'? I'm twice as responsible as he'll ever be!"

"Yeah, sure, Marik." Bakura rolled his eyes, "You're responsible and I'm a cute little caterpillar. There, now we're both liars."

Marik looked down at Yami's sleeping bag, "Hmm. I think I've got an idea."

"What? Marik, it's late. Aren't you tired?"

"…No. I'll be right back."

He opened the flap to the tent and went outside. Yami was still down at the river, gargling, so Marik was able to slip by him. He went over to the foot of a tree and looked around on the ground. A pretty big grasshopper made itself known and Marik grabbed it, then rushed back into the tent.

"What'd you do, Marik?" Bakura asked.

"Watch and learn." Marik slipped the bug inside Yami's sleeping bag and laid back on top of his own. "This is gonna be good."

Just then, Yami came into the tent. He looked at Marik then to Bakura, "What'd you two do? I know something's amiss."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Yami." Marik said nonchalantly.

Bakura shrugged, "Some people. Their so suspicious."

Yami eyed them, and they started to yawn and snuggled into their sleeping bags. He figured, 'Hmm… they probably didn't do anything. Maybe I am being too suspicious.'

He slipped into his own sleeping bag and looked back at Marik and Bakura who were peeking at him through the holes in their sleeping bags. Yami turned back around and counted pyramids in order to drift off. It would've worked too, if Yami didn't notice that a part of his bag was jumping up and down.

"Huh?" Yami watched as something next to his leg kept moving, "What the…"

He slipped his head under and it was quiet for a second or two, then… "GAAHH!" Yami scrambled out of the sleeping bag, tripped over the flashlight, and fell on top of Bakura.

"Ugh! G-Get off of me!" Bakura pushed him off and the grasshopper bounced out of the tent and back into the wild. Once Yami was shoved back onto his sleeping bag he notice Marik giggling and laughing.

"Tee hee hee hee hee hee! I knew you'd freak out, Yami. And over such a little bug, too."

"Marik! That wasn't funny!" Yami stood up and pointed at him, "You're such a jerk, that bug was about as big as Yugi! And it could've been poisonous! I might've died!"

"If we should all be so lucky." Marik rolled his eyes.

"Oh! You've done it this time, Marik Ishtar! You've crossed the line, just wait! I'll find something absolutely awful to do to you!"

"Hmm? Oh, okay." Marik sat back down on his sleeping bag, snuggling with his special blanket. Or his 'world domination blankie' as he calls it, Malik knitted it for him.

Yami grinned and snatched the blanket away from Marik and ran outside the tent. "Ha ha ha!" He yelled, childishly.

"What! Yami, you get back here!" He ran out after him.

When Marik caught up to Yami, he was standing next to the river, with the blanket in his right hand, outstretched and ready to fall into the water. He was grinning from ear to ear when he saw Marik fuming mad.

"See, Marik?" Yami smiled, "I can be mean too. And I'll drop your blanket into the river and let it wash downstream if you don't stop playing tricks on me!"

"Me? What about Bakura!"

"Bakura doesn't do anything really bad to me… he just watches you." Yami said thoughtfully, "I actually think he'd be relatively good if you weren't around to turn him on to evil! You're a bad influence!"

"Yami!" Marik growled and lunged at the spiky-headed boy. Yami jumped back in surprise and accidentally dropped part of the blanket into the water. Coincidently, it fell on top of a furry, floating animal carcass and it stuck to the cover.

"Eww." Yami lifted it out of the water and the quiet large furry animal stuck to it. 

"Oh Ra! Yami, give me my damn blanket before I make you eat it!" Marik made a jump for it but Yami ducked and chucked the furry blanket in the opposite direction. Way over the river and into a patch of woods.

"Gah…" Marik gasped and fell to his knees in the grass. "M-My… you… My world domination blankie! Oh! Oh, come back!"

Yami smirked and clapped his hands together, "Well, that's that. Um… Marik?" He looked down and saw Marik's eyes were dilated. "Marik, what's wrong?"

"…NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

In the depths of the forest, the old man whistled to himself, sometimes looking down at his map, sometimes tripping over his own feet. He stopped for a moment and looked around.

"It must be terribly late. I should really get some rest… but this is the wild. I can't just take a nap, something might come along and-"

Just as he was finishing his sentence, he was hit pretty hard with an unidentified object. It came speeding at him at 20mph and smacked him in the face. Whatever it was had hit him pretty hard and managed to draw a little blood.

"Goodness gracious!" He exclaimed and ran his stubby hands along his face. He felt lots of hair and a few teeth. "Gah! Ah! No!"

He ran as fast as his slightly chubby legs could carry him. "Animal!" came his frantic cry as he went blindly, deeper into the woods, "Animal! Animal!"

Back at the campsite, Marik was wallowing in self-pity on the floor. Bakura helped him get over the worst part of his grief. Now, he just lay on the ground, eyes dilated and not moving. Basically he looked like he was in a coma.

"Are ya happy, Pharaoh? You killed Marik." Bakura stood over Marik and kicked him in the side. He didn't move.

Yami was on his knees next to Marik, "Oh Ra! I'm so sorry! First Grandpa, now Marik! This is awful! Yugi's… he's gonna… Oh, Marik, forgive me!"

"…" Marik twitched, but didn't say anything.

Bakura shook his head, "Eh. Don't worry about it, Yami. That stupid blanket goes missing about three times a year. It always turns up eventually. But when Marik snaps out of his depression, he's not gonna be happy."

"I can't believe this… I sunk to Marik's childish level of taunting and the moment I do, Marik slips into some kind of depression! I'm supposed to be the responsible one! Yugi's never gonna cell phone me again, if he finds out!" Yami turned to Bakura, "Bakura, please don't tell Yugi!"

He raised his hand to his heart solemnly, "Oh… I'm telling."

"Ah! B-Bakura-" Yami stood up and Bakura grabbed his cell phone from around his neck. He ran off towards the woods, yelling, "I'm gonna tell!"

"Please don't tell! I can fix Marik!" Yami ran after him.

Yami reached Bakura at the edge of the clearing they were in, "Bakura, please, give me back the cell phone! I can fix Marik… I… Bakura?"

Bakura squinted into the thick woods ahead of them. "Um…"

"Bakura…?"

"Animal! Animal!" A loud scream came from the darkness and began to get louder and louder. "Animal!"

"Gah!" Bakura and Yami backed up simultaneously. The source of the screaming getting closer and finally jumping through the bushes and out into the clearing, right in front of the two yamis.

Whatever it was, it was about Yami's height only with something that Yami didn't have… lot's of fur. Saggy and unnatural looking brown hair all over it's body. An awful smell exuding from the creature, as well, a rotting dead animal smell.

Well, when the hideous animal was standing right in front of Yami and Bakura they doubled back and ran for their lives.

"Oh my Ra! Monster! Wild Monster!" Yami screamed and panted, "Bakura, what do we do?"

"Duh! Grab Marik and haul butt outta here!" As he ran, he bent down and grabbed a fistful of Marik's blonde hair. He was only able to drag him for three feet before he called out, "Oh, responsible one! A little help here!"

"Uh, right! Coming…" He hurried over and helped Bakura try and lift Marik.

Meanwhile, the creature scratched his head and mumbled to himself, "Hmm? Oh, Bakura! Yami, Marik! Over here!" It waved his hands above his head frantically and came running towards them, yelling their names.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" Yami repeated as he and Bakura shuffled along the ground and dragged Marik. Bakura, with Marik's limp hands in his and Yami was pushing his feet, "That thing's coming after us! Bakura, hurry!"

"Ra, Marik, you really need to lose weight!"

"Yami! Bakura! Marik! Come here!" Was the excited and yet terrifying yell from the monster that stayed in pursuit of them.

Yami was now whimpering and sobbing, "He's gonna eat us! He's gonna eat us!"

It was very dark and as they were exiting the clearing, and escaping into the woods, Yami complained, "We can't see where we're going!"

"We're going away from that thing, now come on!"

Just as it seemed that the creature would catch up to them, he tripped over his own foot and fell onto the grass, moaning, "Oh, my plastic hip…!"

They managed to run deep into the woods, away from that awful, scary monster with the plastic hip. Yikes. So, anyway, they dumped Marik down and sat at the foot of a tree to rest. Marik may seem slim, but when you're in a hurry, people can weigh more than they normally do.

"Huh…" Bakura let out a sigh of relief and looked up at the black sky, "That was the weirdest thing I've ever seen… I mean… it looked like some kind of shadow creature. Do you think it could be a duel monster?"

"Since when do duel monster's look like that? That was definitely of the human world. It was probably some prehistoric… thing. A monkey-man of some sort, I'm sure." He looked around carefully, "Their might be more around here…"

"Ah, well, I can handle monkey-men." Bakura tossed Yami's cell phone to him, "Here. I'm tired of holding it."

Yami caught it, "Thank you." He looked back down at Marik and sighed, "I can't believe it… I'm not being very responsible, Bakura. Just look at what I did to Marik. He's gonna hate me when he wakes up."

"Marik's always hated you, Yami. It's not because you chucked his stupid blanket into the wild. But, of course, that could be a big part of it later. Let's face it, you're not the most likeable guy, anyway."

"… Well, thanks for trying to cheer me up…"

"I didn't." He slid down the trunk of the large tree, next to Marik, "You'd better get some sleep, Pharaoh. Tomorrow, we're going back home. I don't care what Ryou says. We're finding a way out of this mess, if it's the last thing we do." 


	6. Chicken Soup for the Hikari's Soul

Wish You Were Here

Chapter 6:

It was the next morning. Quite the opposite from the dark and mysterious night, it was bright and clear. With rays of yellow sunshine fighting it's way through the leaves of the tall trees and down to the bottom, where the three yamis slept. Marik was the first to wake up. Surprised to find himself on the hard and dirty forest floor, rather than his blanket-less sleeping bag. Blanket-less. No blanket. That's when it hit Marik like a ton of bricks and he turned to Yami, who was snoring lightly right next to him.

"Yami! You worthless bag of ancient Egyptian bones! Get up!" He slammed his fist down, two inches away from Yami's face.

"Oh!" His eye's popped open and he sat up straight. "M-Marik…? What the-"

"You thought I'd forget, didn't you! I can't believe you tossed out my favorite blanket! Why don't I stomp on your stupid cell phone and then we'll see what happens to you!" He stood up and Yami backed away on all fours.

"Hold on, wait a sec! I-I can get it back for you!"

Marik grabbed Yami's shirt and lifted him about ten inches off the ground, "Just wait till Yugi calls back! I'm gonna tell him that-"

"Ah. My two annoying alarm clocks." Bakura was now awake and grinning at Marik and Yami, who was still quivering in fear. "What're you doing to each other now?"

"I'm trying to tell Marik, I'll get his blanket back!" Yami yelled, more to Marik than Bakura.

"And I'm trying to tell Yami, there's no way he can make a promise like that!"

"Where's your faith, Marik?" Yami managed to get Marik's hands off his shirt, "When I make a promise, I keep a promise. Even if it's a promise to you. I'll get your blanket back. I swear it."

Before Marik had a chance to say anything, Bakura stood up and said, "Okay, I think we should go now. We don't know if that Monkey-Man will be back again."

"What?" Marik asked skeptically and looked from Yami back to Bakura, "Monkey-Man? Is that some new television show?"

"No. You were asleep, Marik, when we got attacked by some big, hairy monster. He looked like some prehistoric monkey. Yelling and howling. We had to carry you out of there. You should be thanking us… we saved your skin!"

"Yeah, yeah… thank you." Marik fluffed his hair, "We're leaving today, right? I don't think I can stand another hour in this stupid forest."

"Me, too." Bakura agreed.

"We might have more than an hour left in this place, you guys." Yami said thoughtfully, "I mean, we don't know where we are. We could be miles away from civilization. Plus, our hikaris are on some cruise, so their too far away to come get us. And we don't know if there's anyone out here who could help us."

Bakura threw his arms in the air, "Oh, this is just great!"

"… W-Wait a minute! There is someone around here! The forest ranger's cabin is about five or four miles from here. Yugi's Grandpa told me before Bakura stabbed his car and Gramps bit the big one."

"Good ol' Grandpa…" Yami wiped away a tear.

"We're saved!" Bakura grinned and whirled around, "Let's get going… Hey, wait a minute! We don't know what direction we're going in. The ranger could be one way and, with our luck, we'd be going the other way."

"Anybody got a compass?"

"Blah. Modern day compasses are for sissies. I don't see how that would help, anyway." Marik proclaimed, "I say we use the ancient Egyptian way of navigating!"

Yami raised an eyebrow, "I don't right off remember there being a specific Egyptian way of navigation, Marik."

"Ah, what do you know? You're memory was wiped out. And that's beside the point. I think we should… ask for directions."

He blinked, "Oh! And just who should we ask? Hmm? A raccoon, perhaps? Or maybe a tree? That's the most ridiculous thing!"

"Like your idea was any better! 'Let's use a compass!'" Marik mimicked, "You might as well have said we should wait for the North Star! At least my idea would get results!"

While Marik and Yami argued and were on the verge of killing each other, Bakura looked at all the different directions that lay ahead of them. They happened to be right in a small clearing surrounded on all sides by tall trees. The entire scene was nothing but green and brown. It all looked the same. So easy to get lost… So, Bakura did what he thought was best for this type of hopeless situation…

He stretched out both his arms, closed his eyes, and spun around. One, two, three times, then stopped. His left arm was pointing in the direction beyond the two arguing, Marik and Yami.

Bakura nodded and smiled to himself. He walked past Marik and Yami, towards the previously mentioned path, "C'mon, you two. We're getting out of here."

Marik looked at him, "Bakura…?"

"Come on."

"Whatever." Marik shrugged and ran to catch up with him. He left Yami standing there, dumbfounded.

"Wait! You mean, just like that, you're going to follow Bakura into oblivion…? Just like that! He could be walking off to someplace dangerous! Marik! Bakura!"

"…" No response. They were too far away to hear him anyway.

"But… Oh, fine, then!" Yami sighed and followed them to wherever they were off to.

Less than a mile away, there was a wounded old creature in the middle of a clearing. Sometime during the hectic night, he'd fallen and he felt that his plastic hip was broken. He tried to move, but every time he got up, his legs failed him and he plopped back down.

Using a stick, he managed to prop himself up with the trunk of an old pine tree. Of course, as luck would have it, a fox came and took the stick away, so he was abandoned and lonely at the foot of the large tree.

"Oh, boy…" He sighed, "I guess they didn't recognize me. I mean, who would, with this thing on top of me…?"

By now, he'd realized that, instead of a wild beast trying to eat him, it was just a sheet with an dead carcass stuck to it. Giving him the appearance of some kind of mad animal.

"I-I'd better try and catch up with them…" He put on the work gloves he had in his pocket and lay down on his stomach, using his hands to claw himself forward, in the direction he'd last seen the three scurry off to.

Meanwhile, in the Massage Therapy Room on the Rain-Shine Cruise Line, Malik, Ryou, and Yugi were laying on their stomachs, getting a deep-tissue massage. Correction. Actually, Malik and Yugi were getting the deep-tissue and Ryou was getting the Swedish massage.

Ryou had fallen asleep and was snoring soundly. Malik was well on his way into dream land, but Yugi was still wide awake. He'd hoped that getting a massage along with Malik and Ryou would help him stop worrying so much, but it wasn't helping as much as he'd thought.

The fact that his Grandfather still hadn't checked in was another reason for him to worry. Just about twenty-four hours he's been gone. It was tearing Yugi up because, besides Yami, Grandpa was the only family he had.

"Hmm…" Yugi sighed out loud. He didn't pay any attention to the volume of his voice, but apparently it was enough to wake Malik.

"What's wrong…?" He asked, eyes still closed, still half into his dream.

Yugi looked over at him, "Oh, I'm sorry, Malik. Did I wake you?"

"It's okay. I was having that Jeopardy dream again anyway. You know, the one where Alex Trebec keeps asking me to juggle chainsaws in the form of a question. I think I was actually gonna do it this time."

"Heh heh." Yugi smiled half-heartedly.

"… Oh, for Ra's sake, Yugi. Are you still hung up on Yami and your Grandpa?"

"It's that obvious? Well, yeah, I am. Grandpa's been missing for a whole day now. Yami hasn't told me anything… Twenty-four hours… it's been enough time to file a missing persons report, hasn't it?"

"Yugi!" Marik groaned and unknowingly awoke Ryou. He shot them an agitated look and sighed.

"I was having a very pleasant dream." He said matter-of-factly.

Malik buried his face into his arms, "You deal with it, Ryou." He mumbled, "I'm tired of all this Grandpa drama."

Yugi smirked and reached down, grabbing hold of the cell phone that was laying on top of his duffle bag. He flipped it open and dialed the number of Yami's cell phone.

Ryou watched him, "Yugi, you aren't really going to file a missing persons report are you?"

"No… not just yet. I'm going to force Yami to tell me what's going on over there. I know he's hiding something from me, I can feel it." He held the phone to his ear and heard it ringing…

"Cell phone, is this Yugi?" Came Yami puzzled and out of breath voice.

"Yami, I wanna know something, and don't you dare hang up on me! I can't relax unless I know about Grandpa and you. I know I'm driving Malik and Ryou up the wall with all my worrying-"

"Sure are." Malik and Ryou's voices rang together.

"Thank you, very much." Yugi rolled his eyes then turned his attention back to the phone, "Yami, where's Grandpa?"

"…" There was a silence, but Yugi could faintly hear Marik and Bakura yelling at Yami in the distance. He tried hard to make out what they were saying. The muffled conversation he heard went something along the lines of this:

"Tell him, you dolt!" Someone, probably Marik, told his yami.

Yami sounded scared, "I can't, I'm supposed to be responsible!"

"Then be responsible and tell him what kind of a mess we're in!"

"Yami!" Yugi called over all the screaming, "Yami, listen to me! I won't be mad if you just tell me what's going on! Tell me what's going on!"

Yugi was shushed by the three masseuses that were working on them and other guests who were trying to relax. They all pointed to the sign that said, 'No loud talking'. Yugi lowered his voice and repeated Yami's name till he was back on line with him.

"Y-Yes, Yugi?"

"Tell me what's happening. Where's Grandpa? And where are you?"

Suddenly, Yami's protest could be heard from a little distance and, from what Yugi could tell, Bakura was holding Yami down and Marik had the phone in hand.

"Marik…?"

"Yugi, listen to me! Tell Malik to get his Egyptian butt down here and rescue me! We're lost, looking for some ranger's house and we were just attacked by some kind of prehistoric monkey! My blanket is missing, and your Grandpa died when we got here! He rolled off a cliff somewh-"

Yugi almost dropped the phone, "Wha… WHAT!" 


	7. Cutting it short

Wish You Were Here

Chapter 7:

After hearing Yugi's terrified screams and howls, Yami managed to get the cell phone away from Marik and shut it off before Yugi could say anything rational to him. He put the cell phone back around his neck and kept walking, as if nothing had even happened. Bakura and Marik were totally puzzled. They had just held him down and told his hikari what he'd let happen to his grandfather and yet, there was Yami, as calm as a cucumber.

By this time, Yami, Marik, and Bakura were all walking in silence. Not entirely aware of where they were going, though. They still kept going in the direction that Bakura had pointed out earlier.

Marik sighed and said, to no one in particular, but still looking at Yami, "I'm hungry."

Yami starred up at him, "You mind not looking at me and saying that?"

"I'm just saying. And don't flatter yourself, Pharaoh, I wouldn't eat you if you were the last edible substance on the planet!"

"Oh yeah? Well, I wouldn't eat you if you were the last edible substance in the universe!"

"Oh yeah? Well, I'd rather eat Bakura than you any day!"

"So would I!"

"Not if I eat him first!"

You can imagine how frightened Bakura must've been right about now. While watching his fellow yamis, he tried to interject but they were too busy claiming his body parts. Bakura finally yelled at the top of his lungs, "Hold it!"

They stopped their bickering and looked at him, "What's wrong, Bakura?"

"You both are! No one's going to eat me! Look," He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a shiny dagger, "I've still got my dagger. We can carve up a raccoon or something."

Yami began to turn green, "Raccoon…? Oh, my stomach…"

"Don't mind him," Marik rolled his eyes and looked back at the rigid knife Bakura held in his hand, "He doesn't know what good food is. Anyway, let's find some weak little animal. It shouldn't be too hard to find…"

Marik looked around on the ground and the tree branches. Suddenly, something darted past a tree stump and up the tree. Marik whirled around to Bakura and pointed up the tree, "Hey, there's something up there. Go kill it."

Bakura looked at the tree then walked to it, past Marik, mumbling, "Why do I always have to kill everything?"

"I killed the squirrels."

Bakura nodded, "Fine then." He grabbed onto the lowest branch and quickly scaled the tree from there. Marik and Yami watched him shimmy up the bark and Yami shook his head.

"We're not really going to eat that defenseless creature, are we?"

"Maybe you're not." Marik grinned and licked his fangs, "But I certainly am. When you're as big and muscular as I am, you'll learn to prey on the weak and defenseless."

"You animal."

Suddenly, Marik and Yami a loud crash up in the tree. They looked up and saw Bakura come tumbling down and he landed on his back, while the little creature scurried down the tree and off into a log that lay on the woodsy ground.

Yami rushed over to Bakura's side, "Hey, are you okay? What happened?"

"Grr…!" Bakura stood up shakily and pointed to the log that the animal was in, "T-That damn thing jumped on my face and made me loose my balance!"

"What is it?" Yami asked, "A raccoon or a squirrel?"

"Looked like a raccoon to me. It had black around it's eyes." Bakura grumbled and ran into the log. He could only fit in up to his waist though, so he was kind of stuck at the moment.

Yami and Marik heard Bakura's muffled swearing and growls, but then it was silent. Yami was about to go over and see about him, but at the last second Bakura yelled so loud that all the birds nestled in the trees, flew away and cawed loudly.

Marik lifted an eyebrow, "Bakura?"

Yami ran over, grabbed Bakura's hips and pulled hard. He was still yelling and howling, but nothing he said could be heard except, "AAAHHHHHH! GET ME OUT!"

"I'm trying, I'm trying!" Yami shot a look over at Marik, who was standing there, looking at his nails, "Marik, come here and help me!"

"'Kay." He walked over and yanked really hard on Bakura's legs. He came flying out and landed on top of Marik. Marik dumped him on the ground and looked back at the log. It was still for a moment, then a small black animal with one white stripe along it's back came trotting out and back into the wild.

"Bakura!" Marik yelled, "That wasn't a raccoon, you idiot, it was a skunk!"

He wasn't listening. Bakura was on the floor, writhing in pain and agony, while holding his face and moaning, "Oh… It stings…. Gah…."

Yami was hovering over him as if Bakura was a sick patient in a hospital and Yami was the worried nurse, who took care of him. He tried to pry Bakura's hands open, "Bakura, let me see! Did he bite you or something?"

"No!" Bakura slammed his hands onto the ground and frowned, "That damn skunk sprayed me in the eye!" His eyes had turned from their usual chocolaty brown and were now a bright red.

"What do you mean-" Yami began but quickly gasped and covered his nose with both hands, "Oh Ra! You mean that was a skunk?"

"I feel like I'm talking to myself, sometimes." Marik said, holding his nose as well, "I already said it was a skunk!"

The smell was already kicking in and getting stronger as every second passed. It was as if a thousand soiled underpants were gathered in one huge pile and with another even bigger pile of rotten eggs that were dipped in manure. Quite nasty.

Yami backed up and away from Bakura, who was sitting on the ground, scowling. He took in a breath of fresh air and sighed, "Well, that's what we get for messing with Mother Nature. M-Maybe we should dunk him in the river. That should get the smell off, right?"

"Worth a try." Marik held his nose with one hand and picked up a stick with the other. He poked Bakura in the back, "Get going, Bakura. Into the river with you."

"You must be joking! There's no way I'm jumping into some freezing cold river. So get that stick away from me."

"C'mon!" Yami protested, "My nose is falling off, over here!

Marik poked Bakura with the stick again, "Scoot."

"No! Now leave me alone!" Bakura lost all control and tackled Marik to the ground. They rolled over to the trunk of a tree and were pummeling each other, by slamming the other into the ground as often as they got the chance.

Yami ran, over still holding onto his nose, "Bakura! Marik! Stop it, you're acting like little kids! Bakura, get off of him!"

They refused to listen. Still throwing punches and biting each other's hair. Yami sighed, exasperated, and then looked over at something moving along the ground. He squinted and saw it was some big furry animal crawling along.

He stumbled backwards as it crawled closer, "M-M-Mon…M-M-Monk…" Yami couldn't get out what he was trying to say. He tried to talk to Marik and Bakura, but they were too busy beating the stuffing out of each other.

"M-M-Mon…M-M-Monk…" He continued to stutter. Marik thought he was trying to call him, so he held Bakura's hands down and looked up at him.

"What is it? Can't you see I'm busy!"

"Monkey…. Monkey…. M-M-Man…" Yami pointed towards the creature that was now only three feet away.

"RA!" Marik scrambled to his feet and ran behind Yami. Bakura was now able to get up without Marik holding him to the ground. He looked up at Marik and Yami's terrified expressions.

"What's wrong with you two…?" They pointed and he looked at the ugly, large, furry animal that was holding onto Bakura's shoe. "OH MY RA!"

"W-Wait…" The animal mumbled, "Bakura, wait a min-"

Bakura kicked the horrible monster in the face and ran. Marik and Yami followed him into the forest and, right now, they didn't really seem to notice Bakura's awful smell.

They left the animal holding his face and groaning. "Oh! Oh! Oh!"

Meanwhile, on the cruise ship, Ryou was busy packing their suitcases. They were cutting their weekend short and were going to get off at the next stop. Yugi's orders. He almost couldn't believe how everything was turning out. His Grandpa has… died? Tumbled over a cliff? Before the line to Yami's cell phone was cut off, Marik told Yugi about how the car caught fire and his Grandpa got washed down a fifty foot waterfall. Yugi was practically in shock.

What was probably even more disappointing for Yugi was the fact that Yami lied to him. Well… not lied exactly, but withholding the truth was just as bad! That explains why he was always acting so strange and jittery on the phone.

Malik had already packed his bag and plopped down on the bed, "Oh, this just isn't fare! We had to cut our relaxing vacation a whole day and a half short! Just because our yamis killed Yugi's Grandpa!"

"Malik! Show some compassion." Ryou said in a hushed voice, "This is Yugi's Grandfather we're talking about. I don't think Yugi's too happy with Yami…"

"So what? Marik's killed my dad and my goldfish, but I forgave him. I certainly wouldn't cancel a once in a lifetime trip just because of a little death and woe."

"Ugh…"

The door opened and Yugi came in, his face was red and puffy. He'd been crying ever since Marik told him about his Grandpa's ironic death. Yugi sat his bag down on the bed and sighed. He looked more miserable than he ever had before.

"There, there, Yugi." Ryou tried his hardest to comfort him, "I'm sure it'll all turn out fine. I-I mean… um, it's a shame about your grandfather, but you should… look on the bright side…"

Ryou's comforting tactics weren't working as well as he hoped. Yugi looked up at him and sighed, "Oh, it's okay, Ryou. Thanks. But I'm okay, really. I know that Grandpa's in a better place now."

'Yeah, in a river at the bottom of a cliff.' Malik thought to himself, it took all he had to restrain his mouth.

"Anyway," Yugi said with a little annoyance in his voice, as if he'd heard Malik's rude comment, "I called the Forest Ranger in their area. He said he'd keep a look out for them until we got there. I told him to use any means necessary to hold them, because they're feisty and might try to get away."

Ryou nodded, "Good idea, Yugi. But do you think the ranger will be able to find our yamis?"

"I'm pretty sure. He sounded really capable on the phone."

"Well, phone is one thing and life is another." Malik whirled around and grinned. "Let's get ready then. The next stop is only two hours away and then we're off."

"Malik, you've seemed to recover from your bad mood."

"Yeah, well… No use crying over spilled milk. After all, I should've expected something like this to come from Marik and Bakura. But Yami…? It just seems kind of weird to me. He's usually so… um, responsible. That's why we left him in charge, isn't it?"

"Yes, I'm rather surprised as well." Ryou sat down and bounced on the bed, "He's always been one to please you. I wonder what would cause him to… keep such an unfortunate event from you."

Yugi nodded grimly and looked at his cell phone, "Hmm. I wonder, too. But when we see him again, I'm certainly going to find out. I can't let Yami go unpunished for this… It's too much, especially for him. I don't want to keep such an awful person around me anymore."

Ryou and Malik looked at each other, "Dramatic." 


	8. Where are you now?

Wish You Were Here 

Chapter 8:

Since their encounter with the Monkey Man about ten minutes ago, the yamis were still running, madly, down a hill. Trees blurred along the sidelines and all they could see was the non-Monkey Man scene in front of them.

"R-Ra!" Yami screamed as he continued to run with the two others slightly ahead, "Why does that animal chase us? That's the second time we've seen him!"

Marik looked back at him, "Maybe it's a different one! A-After all, you said there could be more in these woods! He looked like he was hurt!"

"Who cares if it was a different one?" Bakura started to run faster, "Wounded or not wounded, he touched me! Me! I think we're in serious troub- AAHH!"

Bakura was talking so much, he hadn't bothered to pay attention to a cliff that he happened to be teetering on the edge of. He gained his balance by holding out his arms and steadying himself. He sighed with relief and was about to turn around but Marik and Yami were still running right behind him.

"Hey! Wait a minute! Stop! You're going the wrong w-" It was too late for any type of warning. Marik and Yami ran right into Bakura, shoving all three of them right off the edge of the cliff.

"AAHH!"

They went bouncing on the rough terrain that lay right ahead and got a few nicks and bruises. Yami hit a pretty large rock with his head, and though he felt like he wanted to die, he just kept tumbling on down. As Marik came down, a little faster than Yami, he scarred quite a few small animals away with all his tormented growling.

Bakura's rate of speed was much faster than the two behind him. Since he was pushed off first, he was falling and hitting his head twice as much on the large rocks that lay on the mountain trail.

After many feet of tumbling downwards, the ground came into full view as they hit it, face first. Marik sort of bounced off of a patch of grass and remained virtually unharmed. Yami's air bag happened to be Marik. As he landed on Marik's back, Marik fell down and growled.

Bakura, however, wasn't as lucky as the other two and slammed into some sign at the foot of another very large mountain. He slid down and, once he regained consciousness, grabbed his head and moaned.

"Oooohhh… You guuuuys… I-I…!" He doubled over in pain and gasped, "I think I'm dead!"

Yami was laying, sprawled out on the grass, "Bakura…" He sighed, "If you're dead then so am I. And since I happen to be fine, save a couple of bruises and scratches-"

"Shut up, _Pharaoh_! Can't you see I'm in pain! And your shrill voice only makes my headache worse." Marik stood, wobbly, "I must've hit like twenty rocks on the way down."

"Humph!"

Bakura looked behind them, at the large hill they just fell down, "Jeez. We can't climb that… It's gotta be like… a bazillion feet tall."

"Hardly." Yami rolled his eyes. When his eyes fell back to Bakura, Yami noticed the wooden sign behind him, "Hey. Bakura, look at that sign."

"What?" He looked back, "Oh, yeah. That damn board is the reason my head hurts even more. I mean, who puts a big board right at the foot of a mountain, huh? Don't they know people fall here? Inconsiderate mortals…"

Yami barely heard a word Bakura said. He was reading the big bold letters in black. An arrow was pointing towards a trail that swirled around the next mountain, next to it, saying: Cake Mountain. Ranger Sweet's cabin- 10 miles.

"Yes!" Yami hoped up and down then whirled back to look at Bakura and Marik, "Hey, guys, we're saved! Look, we only have ten miles and then we can get to the forest ranger!"

"Ten miles?" Marik and Bakura exclaimed at once and looked up at the mountain. "Ra, that's a long climb…"

"C'mon, all we do is hike up a marked path. That sounds so easy. Don't you wanna go home?"

Marik grinned, "Home? Yami, you're probably going to have to stay out here."

"What? Why should I have to stay out here!"

"Marik, I know what you're getting at." Bakura stood next to him and smirked at Yami, "Yugi's the one who decides to let you back or not. And really, why would he welcome you back when you were responsible for his grandpa's death?"

"Ugh! That's not true! You'll see…" Yami growled under his breath and started up the trail, "… C'mon you two! Climbing this isn't going to get any easier!"

They grinned at each other and eagerly followed Yami.

On the other side of Cake Mountain, in a patch of green woods, a small log cabin sat undisturbed. Inside, a young man about the age of twenty or so was walking around the room with his walkie-talkie in his hand, taking the orders of another young boy over seas.

"I understand completely, sir!" He grinned and saluted, "This is totally routine for a highly-trained forest ranger, such as myself! Your… uh… what'd you say he was?"

"My yami. But never mind what his is, there's three of them and they could be in serious trouble."

"Of course, of course. I'll make sure they're safe and sound as sound can be."

"Good… Oh, and Ranger Sweet? There… there isn't any danger up in those woods is there? I mean, they're not going to be hurt. Are they?"

"Well, Mr. Motou, there are wild animals out here. Mountain lions, bears, coyotes… it's a real wild man's territory." He smiled to himself, "That's how I'm able to survive!"

"Oh, Ra! They're going to be killed!"

"Don't worry! I have a Body Heat Tracker. I just got it about a week ago. It really is for hunting, but this will be the same thing! Just leave it all to loveable Ranger Sweet!"

"…Well, okay. Good luck."

Ranger Sweet clicked a button on the walkie-talkie and sighed, 'Wow. My first mission as a Forest Ranger! This is officially my first step to joining S.W.A.T! Oh, boy! Okay, I'd better fetch Mr. Motou's… erm, yamis. Yeah, that's it.'

He stood up and grabbed his shotgun, "Let's lock and load!"

Back at the foot of Cake Mountain, Marik, Yami, and Bakura had recovered from their dangerous fall and were now hiking up the trail that went round the mountain. They'd been going for about an hour and weren't even halfway up.

"D-Damn…" Bakura panted. "This is one big mountain. It'd be better if we could just drive up…"

"Well, Bakura, if you can pull a jeep out of your pocket, then we'll drive up." Yami glared up at him. "But until then, we shall walk."

Marik growled and then stopped walking. He put his hands on his hips, "There's gotta be a faster way to get up this mountain! If we can't drive then we'll have to…"

"Have to what?" Yami turned to him, "It's not like we can just climb it with… with some kind of… long device!"

"Ugh! It's called rope… and you're living in the past, Pharaoh." Marik grinned and pulled out a small white box from his back pocket. He opened the lid and pulled on a thin white string, "Ta-da! It's floss."

Yami and Bakura starred at him as his tied it into a lasso and slung it around a rock that was stationed a little higher than the trail that they were on. When it caught on, he pulled it tight and sighed with satisfaction, "We'll go up this way."

There was a moment when all Yami and Bakura did was just stare at Marik.

"…" Bakura slowly walked over to Marik and gave him a solemn pat on the back. "I'm at a loss for words." He grabbed onto the floss and began to climb.

"C'mon, my _Pharaoh_." Marik grinned at Yami, who was walking slowly over to him, "I'm not holding this forever."

As Yami climbed up the rope, after Bakura, he gave one look at Marik, "You're oddly resourceful."

"Tell me something I don't know."

The Rain-Shine Cruise Line had docked at a Mexican Harbor to let off some of the passengers and restock on supplies. Since it was midday Saturday, the cruise was only half over. But, Yugi insisted that he, Malik, and Ryou get off and rescue their yamis from certain doom.

"…" Malik sighed as he and Ryou waited for the ship to let all passengers off. Yugi was asking directions to the nearest airport and would return shortly.

"Oh, don't be so glum, Malik." Ryou smiled at him, "We had a nice time while we were here. And this isn't the last vacation of our lives. There's sure to be more. Next time, I recommend we take our yamis with us though. I do sort of miss Bakura, actually…"

"… Yeah. I miss Marik too, I guess. I miss the way he'd laugh menacingly, the way he'd try to take over the world… even the way he'd play sock-puppet theater at 3 a.m. on Sundays."

"Uh, yeah… Same here…" Ryou quirked an eyebrow.

Yugi's head popped out from the side of the corridor as the door opened. He smiled and told them that the next plane from Mexico City to Domino was in an hour, and they'd have just enough time to get to the airport by cab.

When they were in the cab, going smoothly down the street, Yugi looked at his cell phone and wondered just where is yami was now.


	9. Status Report

Wish You Were Here 

Chapter 9:

The side of Cake Mountain was steep. It was hard for anyone to climb it. Meaning professional mountain climbers and such. There have been many who've tried and failed. But, three young adventurers have dared to do what no other has for ten years.

And with dental floss no less. They were truly remarkable young men. Willing to face the dangers of the mountain, all while maintaining their peaceful and cheerful demeanor.

"Aw, hell, Marik! This was the stupidest idea ever! My hands are slipping!"

Yes, indeed.

Marik was climbing right behind Yami and Bakura, all three griping the floss as if it were the string of life. Using their feet to climb even faster, though, was getting them kicked in the face by the person in front.

"Floss… Marik, if we ever stop climbing, I'm gonna ring your neck!" Bakura called down to him.

"Well, at least I'm getting us up the mountain! I didn't see you or Yami coming up with any bright ideas!"

"Stop talking about me!" Yami whined. He coughed then, "Ack! Jeez, Bakura, that skunk smell is still on you. You really stink."

"Well, sorry! There seems to be no shower around for me to bathe! I'm sorry, my Pharaoh, that you have the unpleasant duty of smelling my foul, tainted body!" Bakura's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"That's quite alright." Yami said, with his head held high.

Marik glared up at the whining prince, "Oh, and don't think I've forgotten about my world domination blankie, _Pharaoh_! I want it back, just like you promised!"

"I know, already, I know!"

The floss was getting thinner and thinner as the three climbed higher on Cake Mountain. They'd been going at it for not even ten whole minutes, but already, there was a problem. Yami noticed this first.

"What the…?" He stopped and looked at the floss in his hands. It had only one strand to go before it broke and they went tumbling down another mountain. "Hey, hey!"

"What is it, now?" Bakura and Marik looked at him.

Yami squealed and fidgeted, "T-The floss is breaking! We need to get off or else we'll go down again!"

"Oh no!" Bakura looked around frantically, "C'mon, let's jump on that cliff!" He pointed to a jagged edge off the side of the mountain.

Marik nodded and, as the floss was about to break, he swung from it onto the rocks. Bakura was next and Yami almost didn't make it, but he grabbed onto Bakura's hair and was thrown to safety.

They sighed. Now all that was left was to just walk up the mountain. So, they looked around for the trail.

* * *

About eight miles away, was a young Forest Ranger out in the woods. He had his uniform green shirt and khaki pants on, along with his shot gun in his right hand and his Body Heat Tracker in his left.

"Hi-ho hi-ho… it's off to hunt, we go! La la la la la la la la la… Hi-ho hi-ho!" Ranger Sweet stopped his singing and looked around. He'd thought he had heard something.

"Hmm? What this…?" He sniffed the air and raised an eyebrow, "Could this odd scent be a skunk?"

A branch broke above him and he looked up, startled. "Enemy!" He began to fire off one, two, three rounds from his shotgun. All the little animals ran away and Sweet continued on his journey through the woods.

* * *

At the foot of Mt. Cake, an old man wrapped in a dead and heavy animal was having a rather large nosebleed. It began when he was kicked in the face by a teenager with silver, spiky hair.

He was now determined to catch up with the three young teens that he'd lost a day ago. 'Poor things!' He thought, while clawing his way up the trail, 'They must be so sad and alone! Yugi will never forgive me if they stay lost.'

Three buzzards were flying over head. They circled around the old man who wasn't even aware of their presence. He was getting very tired in fact. So many things had happened to him in the course of only one day, and for one as old as himself, this wasn't the sort of thing he was used to.

"I-I've gotta get this animal off of me…" He panted as he used his shoulders to try and get it off. But no luck. It's claws and fur were tightly wrapped around the straps of his overalls. "They'll never recognize me with this on… Poor things aren't too terribly bright either, so that doesn't help…"

The sun beat down on him as he struggled under the vigilant eyes of the bloodthirsty buzzards, high in the sky.

* * *

The hikaris had made it to the airport and onto the plane with moments to spare. As they buckled their seatbelts, the captain prepared them for the shaky lift-off and they were soon in the air.

Though the plane wasn't too crowded, Ryou felt slightly… uncomfortable.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh…!" He was hyperventilating in his seat with his right hand gripping Yugi's small arm and practically ripping it off. "Get me off this damn aircraft!"

"Please…! Ryou, calm down!" Yugi pleaded for his own safety, as Ryou got this crazed look in his eye.

Malik had just come back from the bathroom and was sitting in the window seat. He was starting to worry about Yugi, because he had turned pale about ten minutes ago and was now a bluish-green. Malik kept his own arms well out of Ryou's reach.

"Ryou, listen to me!" Yugi called again, "Please, you're hurting me! Hold on to something else!"

Ryou slowly let go of Yugi's arm, yet still he had a madman's expression on his face. Yugi let out a sigh of relief, "T-Thank you… Now, what's wrong? Do you not like to fly or something?"

He rigidly shook his head, "…"

Malik sat back in his seat, properly and cracked a smile, "It's okay, Ryou. Not everyone likes to fly. It used to make me a little queasy too. Eh heh… that was, until me and Marik jumped out of a crashing plane together. Then I got over it."

Ryou didn't move or say anything.

Since the color and blood had returned to Yugi's face, he decided to try and call Yami. He thought maybe if he knew more about their situation, he could tell Ranger Sweet where to find them.

He picked up the cell and dialed Yami's number. Ring-Ring-Ring! "Cell phone, yes, you want Yugi?"

"Yami, hi." He sighed.

"Oh! Y-Yugi, um, I… Your grandfather, he… I-I didn't mean for… you see, there was this waterfall and then he-"

"I-It's alright Yami, I forgive you…" Truth is, Yugi didn't really forgive him. But he didn't want Yami to feel bad, "Just tell me where you are, I have a ranger around there and he-"

"Stop it!" Yami was yelling. He was obviously fighting with Marik or Bakura. "I said cut it out, you pitiful excuse for camel spit!"

Yugi quirked an eyebrow at the phone, "Yami…?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Yugi. This stupid tomb keeper is getting us lost. This is not the right way! We lost the trail about ten minutes ago! Will you listen to me, dammit!"

"Um… I can hear that you're busy, Yami. I'll call back later." Bleep-Bleep-Bleep.

* * *

Back on Cake Mountain, the yamis were well into another argument. This time, Yami and Marik were pointing to different trails. They'd gotten off the original one when they let go of the floss and now were lost… again.

"I'm telling you, you're going the wrong way!" Marik yelled at Yami. "You have no sense of direction!"

"You were the one that got lost just coming to the Game Shop on Friday! And now we're out in the wilderness and you think I'm going to listen to you? As if!"

Bakura sighed and looked at the two trails. One was leading into a thick, green area. And the other was leading to more of a rocky terrain. There was no sign in sight and they really had to get going.

"Look," Bakura growled at them both, "We can't stand here doing nothing for hours, we've gotta get gone! So, let's just choose already!"

"Well, I choose this way!" Marik pointed to the trail he'd been wanting to go down and Yami pointed at his own. They weren't getting anywhere fast.

The cliff they were standing on was parted into two ways, and those were the two paths. From the forest came a low growl. It was so low, actually, that at first, the yamis didn't really hear it.

"What?" Marik turned to Bakura, "Did you say something?"

"Uh, no. I didn't."

"Oh…"

Grrrr.

Marik whipped his head around, "Okay, now I _know_ you said something! Just spit it out, no need for mind games!"

"That's your specialty! And I didn't say anything! Blame the Pharaoh, over there!"

"What? Don't blame me, I didn't-"

Grrrr! The sound came again and the three arguing stopped and quickly looked around, now convinced that there was something else around them.

"H-Hurry, l-let's jet…" Yami and Bakura walked quickly into the first, green path. Marik followed catiously. And none of them new that was where the growl had come from.


	10. Monkey Man to the rescue!

Wish You Were Here 

Chapter 10:

The sun was high in the sky. Midday, by now. Although the sun was at it's most intense, it was hidden from the yami's eyes. Large, green leaves were shading them as they continued their path, deeper into the woods.

"We're going the wrong way. This is opposite the mountain." Yami whined. He was getting tired from all the walking.

"Oh well, we just came down here to get away from that growling noise. We can turn back in a few minutes."

Marik looked around, "Do you think it was that Monkey-Man again? No… couldn't be. Monkey-Man always moaned, never a growl."

They nodded thoughtfully and decided to turn back. The animal that made that awful noise would have surely gone by now. So they went back. After about thirty minutes, they heard something again.

Grr…

"Aw, hell, not again." Marik looked around along with Yami and Bakura. It began to get louder and closer.

A tree in the corner of Yami's eye was shaking and so were the three yamis. They backed away from it slowly, but as they moved further and further away, the tree shook more and more.

Bakura was about to suggest that they make a mad dash for the clearing, but when the tree was bent in half and a huge grizzly bear jumped out… Well, Yami and Marik climbed over Bakura and went scrambling and screaming down the path.

He soon followed and so did the bear. "GRAHHHH!" The large bear tore off after them in a rage.

"AHH!" The three yamis were tripping over each other's feet as they tried to avoid the large animal that was no less than four feet behind them every step of the way.

"W-What do we do! W-What do we do!" Yami cried out, "He's gonna eat us!"

Marik looked back at the bear then down to the millennium rod in his belt loop, "Does mind control work on dumb animals!"

Bakura shook his head, "The dumb thing's gotta have I mind, I think!"

"Well, then, where are we running to! We can't go the ten miles to the ranger-" Yami began but stopped and squealed when the bear bit off the back of his shoe. "Good Ra, get me outta here!"

"GRAHHH!"

As the bear roared out, the yamis began to cry and sob while continuing to run. The greenery was starting to clear and they could see the mountain again. But as they were coming to the homestretch, Marik got caught by a low hanging vine.

It had tangled itself around Marik's neck and was now hanging him off the ground. Mind you, he was not wounded in anyway, just extremely uncomfortable.

"Oh Ra! G-Get me off!" He screamed and scratched at the vine.

Yami and Bakura stopped in their tracks when they realized Marik wasn't with them. They looked back and saw that Marik was wildly fidgeting and wailing as the bear cautiously approached him and sniffed.

Bakura nodded towards the opposite direction, "C'mon, Marik's distracting him. Let's make a run for it."

Yami blinked, "Leave? Bakura, Marik's in trouble!"

"Why in hell's name do you care?"

"It's my responsibility to make sure nothing else goes wrong!" He pointed, "That's my responsibility hanging from that vine! Marik, hang tight! We're gonna get you down!"

"Grahh…" The bear sniffed Marik's face again.

"Oh my Ra…" Marik was sobbing and shivering, "What should I do…?" He whispered.

"Play dead." Bakura said, hiding in a bush. "He'll leave you alone."

Marik immediately fell limp and hung there, looking quite dead. "…"

The bear sniffed again.

Yami crouched down next to Bakura, "Listen, give me your dagger. I'm gonna try and cut Marik down from that tree."

"You're going to kill yourself over Marik? Fine then, I get your puzzle." He handed the dagger over and Yami carefully crawled away.

Marik wasn't holding up too well. He was starting to wonder if the bear really would leave him alone. But that didn't matter anyway, because he had lost his look of deadness and was whimpering.

"Tee… gah…" He bit his lips to stop all the senseless babble that was leaking out. The bear now knew he wasn't dead and began to growl again.

"Grrraaaahh!"

"Ra!" Marik cried out.

Meanwhile, Yami had climbed up the tree that Marik was hanging from. He had the dagger in his hand and was quickly cutting away at the vine, hopping the bear wouldn't notice him.

It growled a little more, opened his mouth and showed off his saliva dripping fangs to Marik, whose eyes were now dilated.

Yami whispered, "Just a little longer…"

"Gruh…" The bear heard Yami's voice and looked up. Yami squealed and the bear started to climb up the tree after him. He hurriedly finished cutting the vine and Marik fell down onto the ground.

"Hoo…" Marik sighed and unwrapped the vine from his neck, "T-That was-"

"HELP!" Yami yelled and jumped down from the tree. He landed on his feet, next to Marik and grabbed his hand, "Let's go!"

The bear was now outraged at his prey, that was running away. It followed with a giant roar, "GRAHHHH!"

* * *

A little ways away, in the thick of the forest, a series of loud cries had reached the old man, who was sunning himself on a rock, by the stream. At first, he thought nothing of it and was just trying to get a good nap in before he set out again… but soon those girly cries sounded strangely familiar.

"Hmm…" He sat up and wondered, 'Could it be…? No, I'm sure it's something else…'

The cries for help came again and then came a loud roar. His ears perked up and recognized the terrified screams as belonging to the three teens he had lost.

"Bakura! Yami! Marik!" He yelled and got up, struggling with his broken hip. "I'm coming, boys! Don't worry, I'm coming!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Marik and Yami were running for their lives and Bakura was no where to be seen. With the large bear fast in pursuit, and with no sign of help, the two yamis were at wit's end.

"That no-good thief _bailed_ on us!" Marik yelled at Yami. "I can't believe it!"

He panted, "I-I can! Don't worry, though, I'm sure we can… urm, get away!"

"GRAHHHH!" The mighty bear followed and was tearing up the forest ground underneath his paws.

Marik and Yami were close to the clearing now and were about to make it… if it weren't for a log on the ground, tripping them. They fell over it on, flat on their faces and were trapped as the bear loomed over them.

It panted hard and starred at them, "Gruh… gruh… gruh…"

Yami cringed, "I'm sorry, Marik! I thought I could get us out of here! But it looks like this is the end… You know, no matter what I've said, I've always sort of _liked_ you…!"

Marik looked at him, "Yami, you're an idiot!"

Just as the bear was leaning in for a bite out of Yami, something rushed out of the bushes and jumped in front of the bear, "Boo!" It yelled.

"Ah!" Marik scrambled up, "It's the Monkey-Man! Hurry, let's go before it eats us!" He and Yami hurried away.

The Monkey-Man, however, stayed and fought off the bear with a large stick he'd found in the middle of the forest. He yelled, "You leave my grandson's friends alone!"

While that was happening, Marik and Yami had made it to the clearing. They sighed in relief and, suddenly, Bakura appeared out of a bush.

"Hey guys. You're alive, that's good."

"Bakura! You snake, I-" Marik began, but was silence by Yami's cell phone. He looked down at it and said, "Let it ring, Yugi can wait while I ring Bakura's neck!"

"Just you try it, Ishtar!" He shouted.

"Wait a minute!" Yami stepped in the middle of them, "Don't do this. Not here. We need to get away from here before that awful bear comes after us."

Bakura folded his arms, then quirked an eyebrow, "…Well, how'd you guys get away, anyway?"

"Monkey-Man jumped in front of the bear just as he was about to eat us." Yami said, scratching his head, "I feel kinda bad now… compared to the bear, Monkey-Man looked kinda… small. I hope he's okay."

Marik glared at him, "You hope a monster that's tried to kill us before is okay! You're the craziest guy I've ever met."

Yami sighed, "…"

"Um… Oh, and, I-I wanted to say… well, you did cut me down back there, Yami and I… I just…" Marik faltered, trying to choke out his sentence. "I just wanted to… say t-thank… _Thank_ you…"

"Ah! Well, Marik, you are very welcome!" Yami had apparently cheered up and smiled at him, "Come on, then, let's get going!"

* * *

Ranger Sweet gazed up into the sky. He thought he'd heard something just a second ago. But then it faded quickly, so Sweet continued on his journey.

He'd been going for about three hours and wasn't even tired. Obviously, that was the resilience of a forest ranger.

"Okay! Now, let's see…" He looked at his Body Heat Tracker. Nothing but small forest animals moved, "What! Nothing. I could've swore…"

Something else moved in the underbrush and Sweet pulled out his gun. He shot seven rounds at nothing but a fallen branch.

Sweet grinned to himself, "Ha. Now, do ya see? There's no tree branch as tough as me!"


	11. As long as they stick together

Wish You Were Here 

Chapter 11:

The plane had been going for a while. About three and a half hours or so. It was a long ride, because… well, Mexico is a long ways from Domino City. They'd gone through a bit of turbulence and Ryou's phobia of flying had gone to an all-time high. His agitation was spreading to the other passengers.

Presently, Ryou had Malik and Yugi's hands in a death lock of a grip. Their limbs were turning purple.

"Um…" Yugi began, "R-Ryou, could you possibly-"

Ryou squeezed harder on his hand. "We agreed. No talking, it shakes the plane."

Mumbling began from the passengers behind them. They didn't like being silenced by a British teenager with a plane phobia.

When the whispers and talking started up again, Ryou whipped his head around and yelled, "I SAID _NO_ TALKING!"

Everyone quickly quieted down.

Malik looked at Ryou and sighed, "Ryou, listen to me, nothing is going to happen, okay? It's just a plane ride and it'll be over before you know it."

"You said that last hour, and the hour before that, too."

"… Well, it's a long plane ride." He nodded at Yugi, "And his face is turning tie-die now, so you really should release him."

Ryou took in a deep breath and released him. Yugi's color came back and he sighed in relief, "Thank you…!"

He shook his head and apologized, "I-I'm sorry, you guys. You can talk now." All the other passengers took that as a cue and began their conversations once again. "I guess," Ryou continued, "That this whole Bakura-gone-missing thing really has gotten to me."

Yugi nodded, "We know how you feel, Ryou, don't worry. We'll find them. They're fine. We know they're alive and, of course, Ranger Sweet is helping. I know they'll survive as long as they stick together."

* * *

In the clearing, a little ways away from the mountain, the three yamis traveled through the bushes. They tried to avoid the things they didn't know much about. Which included… mushrooms, bugs and… well, most of everything.

"Well…" Yami pointed, "At least the mountain is back in sight. Then, maybe we can go find that Ranger. Ra, this is taking longer than I thought it would."

"Yeah, I really thought we'd be there by now. That damn bear is what got us off the trial in the first place." Marik said.

Bakura nodded frantically and did a nervous little dance. "Weegah! Vee…"

Yami and Marik looked back at him and cocked their heads to one side, "Um… Is something the matter, Bakura?"

He nodded again and chocked out, "I just realized that I have to go to the bathroom really badly! Really, _really_, badly!" Marik snickered.

"O-Oh… um…" Yami looked around them. There was a stray pile of bushes about ten feet away. He pointed over to them, "There ya go."

"W-What do ya think I am? An animal? I don't pee in bushes!"

"Fine then." Marik smirked and folded his arms, "You just go in your pants."

"Grr…" Bakura growled at Marik, then ran over to the bushes to do his business.

In about a minute or so, Bakura complained to Marik and Yami about the lack of toilet paper in the bushes. Yami suggested Bakura use a leaf, and Marik suggested that Bakura use his hand. Bakura chose Yami's suggestion.

Another minute and they were back on the trail. It was quiet and peaceful, as they traveled together but, suddenly, Bakura groaned and furiously began to scratch his private areas.

Yami and Marik looked back at him, "What the hell…?"

"Gah!" He continued to scratch, "It itches so, so bad! Someone make it stop!"

"Bakura, be still! What's wrong with you?" Yami asked, receiving no answer from Bakura. He was still too busy scratching himself like a dog with fleas.

"Heh heh." Marik grinned and elbowed the pharaoh, "Yami, don't you see? That bush that Bakura went in, must've been Poison Ivy. Jeez. Talk about a special kind of luck."

"AaaAAaAaaAAa…!" Bakura continued.

Yami nodded. "Well. It's just karma, then. That's what you get, Bakura, for running away when that bear tried to get us!"

Bakura did nothing but tear off his shirt and jiggle around some more. Yami rolled his eyes and continued walking, assuming that Marik and then Bakura would follow. Yet, they did no such thing.

Marik stayed and laughed at Bakura, who had red blotchy spots all over his waist and hands. Bakura noticed Marik's chuckles and got extremely mad.

"Ishtar, how dare you!"

"What are you mad at me for, Ivy-boy? I'm just enjoying myself. Heh."

"Grr!" He jumped on Marik and they both fell to the ground, punching and kicking each other. Marik squealed at Bakura for him to stop before he started itching as well. This only gave Bakura more reason to press himself against Marik and freak him out.

Their fight grew to where they weren't paying any attention to their surroundings and the cliff that they were right next to. And thus… they fell off and landed into the stream about 150 feet down.

In less than five minutes, Yami came running back to the spot where he'd last seen the other two yamis. Nothing there.

"Marik! Bakura! Where are you?" He called out. No answer from either one of them. Only silence followed.

"This isn't funny, you guys! Please, where are you!" Yami was beginning to panic now. His responsibility, as he called them, was missing. What would happen if he didn't find them soon?

And at the worst possible time… _Ring-Ring-Ring!_

* * *

"Ooh…. guh… hee…" The old man wheezed as he dropped his stick and fell to the floor in exhaustion.

The bear that he had scared off had left him indescribably tired. It's not very common for old men who usually nod off on the couch all day to just fight off a bear.

He sighed and turned around, "Well… now that that's over, all I have to do is find those knuckleheads."

Grandpa started off, yet again, in the direction he thought he saw the boys run off to. But he was going in the opposite direction.

Unknowingly, he carried on towards a back trail in the shadow of the mountain. Cake Mountain, to be exact. There was another way to get around it that not too many people knew about. And that was the way that another man was taking.

Ranger Sweet was less than a mile away from the old man, with his gun in his right hand and his Body Heat Tracker in his left, he was hiking down the trail. He'd already lost more than a few bullets, shooting at branches and squirrels and such.

"Hmm…" He looked at the tracker. It read that something was close by. "Hot damn! It's probably one of those… erm… yumis? Eh, I forget."

The tracker showed it's position and heart rate. Sweet tiptoed behind a tree and looked over his shoulder. He saw what appeared to be some type of large animal, trudging along the forest floor, barely standing. The fur was saggy and unnatural looking.

Sweet gasped and jumped out of the tree's shadow, "Stop right there, you animal! One more step and I'll…" He held up his gun, preparing to fire.

"N-No! Wait, please, stop!" The animal held up it's oddly human hands and took a step backwards, "You don't know… I'm Yugi's grand-"

"Save it!" He waved the gun around and thought, 'Wow. What a weird-looking animal! I've never seen such a ugly beast! Ooh… hey! If I capture this thing, I can sell it on Ebay to scientists! I'll be famous… and then S.W.A.T will surely want the man that captured this on their team! What a great idea!'

"Listen, you've gotta help me! I-"

"…" The Ranger reached in his back pocket and pulled out some tranquilizers.

The old animal saw this, turned and ran for his life. "Oh my gosh! No! Please, don't!"

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Sweet began to chase after him, swinging his gun around, "S.W.A.T, here I come! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

* * *

As the soft current of the stream ran under the sunlight, two young yamis climbed out of it, panting and gasping for air. When they caught their breath, they looked at each other with malice in their eyes, but were too tired to fight again.

"M-Marik, do you know where in hell we are?" Bakura sighed as he lay down in the grass on the bank of the stream.

"I didn't know where we were ten minutes ago and nothing has changed." He looked around, "Oh Ra, we fell down that cliff, didn't we?"

"Heh. Did you figure that out all by yourself?"

"Gah!" Marik fell backwards and pulled at his hair, "This is not happening! Bakura, this is all your fault! We're probably most lost than we were before."

"What do you mean this is all my fault?"

"You _attacked_ me! Which threw us down here!"

"Well, if you hadn't of _laughed _at me…!"

Marik cocked his head to one side and starred at Bakura's bare torso. It was still covered in red spots from the Poison Ivy, "… At least you stopped all that scratching."

"Huh?" He looked down and began to itch again, "Marik! Why'd you remind me, you jerk! Augh!"


	12. You get yummier by the second!

Wish You Were Here 

Chapter 12:

Yami trudged along the flowery trail's edge, looking for any sign of Marik or Bakura. He'd been searching now for almost thirty minutes, worried sick. Calling out their names in both English and Egyptian.

His face was red from crying and shouting out. Even before he was sure that they were gone, his sniffles were audible. The conversation with his hikari over his cell phone did not go so well…

**Flashback**:

"This isn't funny, you guys! Please, where are you!" Yami was beginning to panic now. His responsibility, as he called them, was missing. What would happen if he didn't find them soon?

And at the worst possible time… Ring-Ring-Ring!

Yami looked down at the cell phone that was starting to blink a bright blue color. He shrieked and held onto the phone, 'Oh no,' he thought, 'Yugi… Marik and Bakura aren't with me! First his Grandpa now them…!'

It continued to ring. He sighed and flipped it open, "Hi, cell phone. Hello, Yugi."

"Yami, we're on the plane. We're going to come and save you three, okay?"

He gasped, "R-Right now? All three of you?" Yami thought of something else. What about Ryou and Malik? They would surely kill him if they discovered their yamis missing! They'd hang him over the Nile and let the alligators jump at him until… until…

"Yami? Yami! Are you there?"

Yugi's voice brought him back to reality, "… Y-Yugi? Eh…"

"Tell me where you are, exactly, and then we'll get you okay? Marik and Bakura are behaving themselves, aren't they?"

"Uh! Well… o-of course, they are. They… th-they are being very good… very, very good! In fact, they're so good, I can't even see them." Yami nodded with confidence. He wasn't lying to his hikari. 'It's true.' He thought, 'I can't see them…'

"Um… well, okay. Have you found Ranger Sweet, yet?"

"Ranger Sweet… Hey, he's the forest ranger here, isn't he? Living atop Cake Mountain, right? Of course." He'd remember the sign.

Yugi took in a deep sigh of relief, "Yes! So, you know about him. Good. I'm so glad you're there, Yami. You really are very responsible."

Yami's heart sank about two inches into his stomach. "Oh… um, gee, Yugi… I don't-"

"Sorry, Yami, gotta go. We're about to land. I'll being seeing you soon!"

Bleep-bleep-bleep…

**End Flashback**.

Yami was now at the foot of Cake Mountain again. Back on the right trail, he thought that maybe Bakura and Marik were somewhere around the mountain as well. 'Maybe I'll see them…' He thought, but he knew the chances of that were slim to none.

* * *

On the other side of the mountain, Marik and Bakura had dried off and were now searching for Yami. They had a hard time at first, due to all of Bakura's incessant itching and scratching. But Marik quickly put a stop to that.

It would sound strange to a mortal to hear this, but… Marik sent Bakura's itches to the Shadow Realm. Yes, it's true. At first, Bakura didn't think it would work, but Marik insisted on trying. And, miraculously, they pulled it off.

But, now there was an entirely new problem that they realized…

"Damn." Marik sighed, walking to the left of Bakura, "I just forgot… The Pharaoh's got the cell phone. We don't have any way to contact anyone!"

"I guess we'll just have to get to that Ranger and hope Yami's there too. If he's not, Yugi's gonna have a fit and a half."

He looked up the mountain and shrugged, "Well, then, we'd better get a move on, if we want to-"

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Came a distant voice.

It was followed by… "Oh no! Please don't!"

Both Marik and Bakura tilted their heads and looked down the way that they thought they heard the voices coming from. It was silent for a moment or two, but then they could see a figure running at 85 mph at them.

"No! Please!" Monkey-Man was running past them with his arms waving around. "I just wanna save my grandson's friends!"

He was followed by a young man in a green uniform and a gun in his hand, "Ah ha ha ha! You can run, but you can't hide, fur-man! S.W.A.T, here I come, baby! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!"

They sped past the two yamis on the sidelines and were soon heading up the mountain trail, yelling along the way.

Bakura shifted his eyes, "Well, you don't see that everyday."

"No… you don't, but… Hey!" Marik snapped his fingers, "We'd better follow them. They could know where the ranger's cabin is at!"

"Right. Let's go."

* * *

The flight was over and all the passengers were stepping out of the plane, in single-file order. Well, except, three hikaris. They butted ahead of most people and raced out to the nearest bus stop.

"Remind me why we're taking the bus again." Malik sighed when they got on the #23 bus and sat in there seats, "This one doesn't even go past downtown."

"I know, that's why we're taking the bus from the airport to our house. Then we'll use my car to go and pick up our yamis." Yugi said, but then grinned sheepishly, "Ah, but, one of you will have to drive because… I can't see over the steering wheel…"

Ryou and Malik giggled.

"Yeah, yeah, it's soooo funny." Yugi rolled his large eyes.

The bus stalled a bit then rolled down the road to Southern Domino.

* * *

Back around Cake Mountain, Yami was wondering up the trail in a sad silence. He'd been somber and devastated ever since he lost contact with his two 'friends'. And since Yugi's phone call, it had been deathly silent all around him.

Yami's head jerked back and his ears perked up, suddenly, "Hmm…?" He thought he'd heard something, but, no… again there was silence and continued back on the trail.

A few more minutes past and then a distant scream caught the Pharaoh's attention. Shrill and yet low, the sound got louder and louder until the source came into full view, charging at Yami from afar.

"What the…!" Yami backed up a few steps. The form of the ever popular Monkey-Man was rushing down the path like a madman, arms failing around his head and shrieking out. Behind him was someone Yami was not familiar with. A young man dressed in green, waving a gun around, shouting, "Hold still, darn it!"

And Monkey-Man, calling back, "Not by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin!"

They zoomed by and, before Yami knew it, Marik and Bakura ran by behind them, bellowing, "Hey, green dude, get back here!"

As the line of screaming and ranting continued up the mountain, Yami stood with a puzzled look on his face. "M-Marik? Bakura? Ah, hey, guys! Wait up!" He trotted up after them, though not nearly at their rate of speed.

* * *

Ranger Sweet followed the strange animal up the mountain. Going as fast as his beautifully shaved and finely-toned legs would carry him. Unaware that two slightly younger teens were following him, he shot his tranquilizers, blindly, at the animal.

"You there! Hairy beast, slow down and I wont shot you in the temple!" He called, still shooting, though missing every shot.

The animal was running on empty. He wasn't as young as he used to be and wasn't cut out for all this out-running-the-law nonsense. He was tempted to just give up, but then he thought, 'No! I can't give up! Yugi's counting on me to take care of his friends! I'm just gonna have to out-smart that young fellow…'

Suddenly, as Sweet came closer to his target, it stopped in it's tracks and fell over in the clay and dirt, right in front of a cliff's edge. Laying there, he lay undisturbed by all but the wind.

He tilted his head, "Uh… d-did I do that?"

Panting heavily, Marik and Bakura caught up to him and could barely make out any words. "H-Hey… y-y-you, we… c-can you… hoo, you can run…!"

The young ranger paid no mind to the two yamis and cautiously walked up to the beast and poked him in the side with the nose of his gun. No movement. He poked again. Still nothing.

"Oh, _no_… I didn't kill it, did I? How am I supposed to get into S.W.A.T now! Oh nooooooooooo!" Sweet's gun made a thud on the ground and he sobbed loudly, "Oh, cruel, cruel fate!"

Bakura now gained enough breath in his lungs to speak, "Hey." He tapped the bawling man on the shoulder, "Cut that out and listen to me! We need to know where the darn ranger is, so we can-"

Sweet ceased his crying for a moment and looked up at the two teens. He stood and looked them up from top to bottom, "…H-Hey! Are you, by any chance… um… darn it, what were they again?" He went off, naming names that Marik and Bakura knew nothing about, "…Yams? Yogis? Yogurts? Darn it!"

Marik raised an eyebrow, "What the hell are you trying to say?"

"Um… that's it! Yes… Are you two, by any chance, Yummies?"

Marik gasped and turned to his friend, "Dude, that guy just asked if we were _yummy_! This is sick!"

"Uh-huh…" Bakura nodded, mouth agape, "Okay, guy, you need to cool it. We're not 'yummy'."

"Um, wait." He tried to correct himself, "Maybe that's not it… Yuri? Yaoi? Damn it! Why can't I remember?"

As the ranger continued to confuse the teens and himself, the large animal who was lying on the floor, grinned to himself. 'I'm home free!' All at once, he pushed himself from the ground and jumped over the cliff, yelling, "HERE I COME, WORLD!"

"Huh?" Sweet whirled around in just enough time to see the falling animal glide downwards into the jungle below. He rushed over to the edge on all fours, "NO! _WAIT_! COME BACK!"

Marik folded his arms and tilted his head, "Well. I vote that we get gone before he starts calling us yummy again."

"I second that." Bakura rolled his eyes and they turned around. Unknowingly, heading for the next trail.

* * *

Meanwhile, Monkey-Man was doing front and back flips in the air on his way down. It seemed as if the fall was lasting forever and he was going no where very fast. But to the old man in disguise, it was a heaven compared to being chased by that Forrest Ranger.

"I don't know what was his problem was…" Grandpa mused to himself, "I just wanted to know where Yami, Bakura, and Marik are. Wait… _Marik and Bakura_? Was that them who he was talking to! I couldn't be!"

He looked back up at the ledge that was growing smaller and smaller as every second passed. He couldn't believe it! They'd been right there and yet… 'Good grief,' he thought, 'Now, I'll have to find them again…'

As he sighed, the ground grew larger and he then realized… 'This 300 foot fall might just kill me…'


	13. Damn

Wish You Were Here

Chapter 13:

The bright and clear sky had dimmed a bit. The long day had now transformed from afternoon to early evening. Wild purples, oranges, and yellows haloed the sun as it set in the West, barely hovering over the calm city.

A black Mercedes drove past the giant orb, in a bit of a rush, though still trying to obey the speed limit of 40mph. It wasn't doing a good job.

"Malik, slow down." Yugi warned, gripping the armrest, "You're going to make us get a ticket."

The eager hikari waved away the comment, "I don't care about a ticket. We lost about thirty minutes getting to the Game Shop, taking that damn bus. I can't believe how slow that bus driver was going!"

"Two miles an hour…" Ryou shook his head in pity, "How sad."

"Yeah…" Malik pushed the gas pedal down, further, "And now, even I'm worried about what's going on out there. I mean… Marik is resourceful and everything. But, if you're forced to hang out with him for a long time… he can get pretty strange."

* * *

Meanwhile, on the trail of Cake Mountain, two yamis had unknowingly been going in circles for about three hours. Somewhere along the line, Marik got so tired, he claimed he could no longer walk. Bakura believed this to be BS, but decided to help in anyway he could.

"Marik…" Bakura growled, "Do you think you could shift you weight?"

He complied with his friend's request. "There, happy?"

"No. But then, who would be? Giving you a piggy-back ride is not only ridiculous but humiliating!"

Bakura was walking rather slower than usual, with the extra weight on his back; he was dragging his feet and groaning. Marik may look slim, but he'd been eating a lot of cupcakes lately, and Bakura was feeling every extra pound.

"You're so cruel." Marik grinned, "You should be nicer to me. It's not just anyone that gets to carry me on their back. You have to be special."

All of a sudden, Marik was dumped onto the rocky ground. Bakura cracked his knuckles and looked at his friend calmly, "If you've got enough energy to be annoying, you've got enough energy to walk on your own."

"Ah, fine! Who needs your back, anyway?" Marik jumped up and turned around, "See this? This beautiful piece of skin is my back! And it's way better than yours!"

"… You need help."

"Whatever. Let's just go." He started again on the trail, and Bakura caught up to him. They headed towards a grassy basin on the mountain. They'd past a sign about half a mile back saying that the Ranger's cabin was only another five miles. It was hard to believe that, after all that running and walking, they were only half way there.

But, 'Oh well,' they thought and continued downwards.

It was much greener down there, than on the mountain's surface. Bright green trees were the main scenery and everything else was either brown or gray. Gray being rocks and woodland creatures.

"Ugh." Bakura groaned, "Don't tell me we have to go through this mess!"

"Okay, then… I won't tell you." Marik nodded and kept going.

Silence filled their ears as they went on. Of course, there was the chirping of the crickets and the occasional 'Ow!' from Marik when he stubbed his toes on a rock, but otherwise it was morbidly quiet.

A branch broke in the nearby distance and Bakura stopped, "What was that?" He asked, trying to hide the jitters in his voice.

"N-Nothing, I'm sure. Let's just keep going…"

* * *

Close by, in the basin of the Cake Mountain, the young ranger was holding his cell phone in one hand, with his trusty gun under his other arm. He'd been on the phone with a young man who was now pretty ticked at Sweet.

"You mean to tell me that you passed our yamis!" Yugi shouted into the phone, "For some stupid animal!"

"It wasn't just a animal, Mr. Motou, it was a new species! Some kind of-"

"Oh! And I find it extremely interesting that you can remember my name, but not the name of my YAMIS! I can't believe you! You passed Marik and Bakura by calling them yummy! And where the hell is Yami! I wanna know! You're so incom-" Just then, Yugi's rants were cut short and the phone was handed to someone a bit more rational.

"Um… hello?" Ranger Sweet said meekly.

"Listen," Ryou said, obviously holding his temper. "I want you to do a simple job, for me. Can you do that?"

He nodded eagerly, "Y-Yes! I can! I'm Ranger Sweet!"

"Good. I want you to find Marik, Yami and Bakura. We will be at your cabin by tomorrow morning. You have roughly twelve hours to get them there and hold them by any means necessary. If we arrive and they aren't all there… you will not be heard from again."

Bleep-bleep-bleep…

The cell phone dropped out of the Ranger's sweaty hand. He bent down to pick it up and thought, 'This is terrible! If I don't find those… uh, yamis… I'll never be heard from again. And that leaves a lot unsaid. I need to think of a way to hold them at the cabin before tomorrow-'

His thoughts were halted by a sound close by. Voices, he thought. Two of them were now audible, it sounded like two feuding boys. He crept to the trunk of the tree in front of him and peeked around the corner.

"I'm telling you, I heard something!" An albino boy, dressed in blue, was yelling at the other next to him.

The second boy, who was tanned and dressed in black, flipped the hair off his shoulder and said, "Well, whatever you heard, Bakura, it's obviously gone now. I wish you'd stop obsessing over your own imagination."

In the bushes, Ranger Sweet was grinning from ear to ear. 'Yes! There are at least two of them. This'll be almost too easy.' He cocked his tranquilizer gun and aimed for the blonde boy's head…

* * *

Bakura stopped in mid-argument and tilted his head to the side, "Wait… I just heard something, it was-"

"Oh, Bakura! If this is going to continue, just leave me out of it." Marik began to walk off and when he moved, Bakura could see the nose of a gun, pointing out of the bushes and straight toward Marik's back. Marik was clearly unaware of the danger he was in, and as the gun cocked, Bakura jumped on Marik and tackled him to the ground.

"What the hell!" He shouted as they both hit the ground.

The shot went off and a small dart flew right overhead of the two boys and into the bark of a large, redwood tree. Marik looked over Bakura's shoulder and gaped, "W-Was that aiming for me?"

Bakura sat up quickly, "Yes, that was aiming for you! We gotta get outta here!"

Suddenly, a man jumped out of the bushes with a shotgun in hand, "… Damn. I missed." He aimed again, "Let's try this a second time…!"

Marik and Bakura screamed, jumped into the air, and flew down the trail. Going at top speed, they ran past everything in the forest, including the trees, bushes, and such. But the man with the gun was in fast pursuit, and the sky grew darker as they neared a log in the middle of a small clearing.

They were about to jump over the broken piece of wood, but something lay in the middle of it all that just caught them off guard. Marik, in particular.

"Um, Bakura, do you see what I see?" He asked, looking at what seemed to be a large animal in the mist of the bark.

"I _see_ that we're about to be _shot_! Marik, let's go! Go, go, go!" Bakura's arms flailed around through the crisp nighttime air as he begged his friend to hurry it up. They'd gotten a little ahead of their pursuer but now he was coming up fast and waving his gun at the same time.

Marik knelt down and poked the animal, "Eh…" It didn't move at first but then, motion came about it as the body struggled to pick itself up slowly and turn to the teenage yami.

"M-Marik…!" The old creature managed to croak out, "I-Is that y-you?"

He started to get up, "Damn, it's just Monkey-Man."

"Can we go now!" Bakura insisted, practically dragging Marik away from the monster and in the opposite direction of danger, "I swear, if we die because of your stupidity, I'll never speak to you again!"

Monkey-Man reached out to the two teens, "Wait, please… I need to tell you-" Before his sentence was finished, the ranger trampled over his face and stampeded onward in the direction of his prey.

"Ouch…" Was the last audible thing from Monkey-Man.

* * *

Tumbling into the basin of the mountain, was Yami. He'd somehow managed to slip on a wet rock near the stream running around Cake Mountain and fell into the side of one of the walls. Really, it was a pity to watch him take a headfirst dive downwards, on the way, hitting boulders and trees with his head that was considerably softer now.

"AaaAAaAaaAaaA---!" He cried out before smashing his mouth into yet another rock.

In about two minutes, he hit the forest floor, and was knocked out instantly. "…"

Somewhere down the path, the other missing yamis were sprinting madly down past the greenery. No attention was paid to the wicked wind blowing harshly or the gray clouds that were beginning to take form… No, all they could think of was 'Gotta get gone! Gotta get gone!'

Bakura was panting heavily now, sweat running down his arms and chest, "I-I don't think we can keep this up much longer, Marik! That guy's got legs of steal!"

"Tell me about it, but we have to keep go-" Marik's reply was cut short as he toppled over by tripping on a body on the ground. He landed across the slightly smaller figure and groaned, "Who the hell leaves dead bodies in the middle of the forest?"

"…" The boy made no sound but a quiet moan.

Bakura took a closer look at the young man when Marik raised himself off of him. "Wait a minute, Marik. This guy isn't dead! This guy isn't even a guy, it's Yami! Look!" He pointed to the millennium puzzle around his neck.

"Ah… hey, it is Yami. And here I thought he was a goner." Marik lifted the frail teen onto his shoulders and shuddered, "I can't believe I'm doing this…"

Bakura glared, "Well, I carried _you_." He gasped suddenly and looked round. The man that chased them was no longer in sight. "….Hmm. Maybe he left."

"Ah! I forgot!" Marik quickly surveyed the area, at the same time shaking his shoulders and knocking Yami off and onto the ground. "Oops."

Hitting the ground must've jolted him, because after that he immediately opened his eyes and looked up, hazily, at Marik and Bakura. "Y-You guys…? Wha…?" After a sort of long and awkward pause, a broad grin appeared on Yami's face, "Oh, Bakura! Marik!"

Surprise was the only rational way to express the two taller yami's facial expressions as Yami jumped onto them and clung to their shirts in a tight hug, "I'm so glad you're okay! You have no idea!"

"Ah…" Marik's eye was twitching, "Ah, ah! G-Get it off me! Please!" He shrieked at the top of his lungs, while fidgeting to get out of the death grip.

Bakura raised an eyebrow and sighed, "Eh."

Soon, Yami eased up and backed off, "So, what has been up with you guys? I've been having terrible luck out here! Oh, did you find the Mountain Ranger?"

"No," Bakura shook his head, "Bad news, though. Monkey-Man's still alive and there's this crazy guy running around with a gun on the mountain! He's been trying to shoot us!"

"… I think I'm going to be sick," Yami began to turn green. "This is awful."

Marik nodded in agreement, "Yeah. We haven't found the damn ranger, there's a prehistoric monkey running around and there's a crazed lunatic who happens to be following us. It's nighttime, I'm hungry, and we've got no shelter… This could _possibly_ get any worse!"

Suddenly, as if the answer Marik's statement, the gray clouds pushed together, becoming darker and bigger. The winds grew stronger and the leaves rustled in a disturbing way. A little drop of water landed on Yami's face and about a thousand more followed. In a second, it was a complete waterfall.

"… Damn."


	14. An Ancient Language

Wish You Were Here

Chapter 14:

"…This sucks."

It was around eight o' clock at night. The wind was blowing fiercely outside the cave that the three yamis had set themselves in, a small whistle among all of the other noises from the storm. This rather large cave provided sufficient shelter for them. Though it was dark and dank, it was… homey.

Yami was appointed the task of starting a fire (against his will, mind you). Dry wood was hard to retrieve, but once it was done, the fire started and they were on the right track to getting warm. They were sitting around it, listening to the rain come down in sheets at the cave's entrance.

"No, really. This _really_ sucks." Marik repeated as the scowl on his face grew even larger, "What the hell did I do to disserve this?"

Yami took that as his cue, "Well, starting from when I knew you, we can put Battle City on that list, your resent escapades, sending my friends to the shadow-"

"That was hypothetical, you idiot!"

"Don't call _me_ an idiot, you idiot!"

"Well, you are an idiot!"

"No, you are!"

Bakura yelled at them, "SHUT UP! Do it and do it, now!"

They both made a small "Meep," sound and quietly sat back down, a light blush on their faces.

"That's a little better. Ra, you two can't give me three seconds of peace? Never mind. And Yami, you should know better. I mean, I expect this from Marik, but aren't you supposed to be the Responsible One?"

Marik looked at Yami expectantly, "…"

"Well, I… I mean, I've…" Yami was fumbling for words, yet nothing reasonable came to mind, "… Ugh."

"Spoken like a true loser." Marik nodded solemnly.

"I have no idea what you two's problem is, but I am the Responsible One! I found you guys after we were separated for half the day!"

Bakura raised an eyebrow, "Maybe my memories gone bye-bye, but I think it was us who found you, knocked out on the ground, moaning in agony. And was it not Marik who put you on his back? However sick he may have become."

Marik shivered.

"…Agh! Fine, then, I'll prove it to you!" Yami got up, picked up a stick and lit it on fire, "I'm going to go and find food to prove to you that I'm _really_ responsible! Take that you bunch of jerks!" He stormed off, deeper into the cave with a scowl on his face.

"Hmm. Do you think we should let him go alone…? Not that I care but, I mean, sooner or later we both know he's gonna freak out and come running back here because a fly touched him."

"…" Marik smirked.

* * *

About ten minutes later, in the darkness of the cave, Yami was doing his absolute best to keep his cool, and prove to Marik and Bakura (though they were not there) that Yami was in fact responsible and could do the just that his hikari appointed better than anyone else.

Thus is why he was venturing deeper into the dark cave. He waved the torch around at every little thing that moved. Whether it be a moth, or a beetle that was three feet away from him, he jumped, shrieked and (for some odd reason) licked his lips. Odd.

Anyway, when it was apparent to him that there was no food to be found back there, he hung his head in defeat and decided to turn back.

"Darn. I thought, maybe…" Suddenly, Yami tripped and almost fell over. After regaining his balance, he looked down at a patch of blue mushrooms. That had been what'd tripped him.

He smirked to himself, "Well, well, well… It seems there is food in this sorry excuse for a hotel, after all."

The mushrooms were pretty big, so Yami only picked up three. You may think it strange to pick and eat wild mushrooms in a mysterious cave, but, to Yami, this was only too perfect.

'Just wait till Marik and Bakura see! They'll be sorry they ever picked on me!' Yami skipped off happily in the direction that he _thought_ he came from…

* * *

"Okay, okay, one of us has to go look for him." Marik affirmed, "I mean, he's been gone for almost twenty minutes, for all we know he could be laying in a ditch."

Bakura raised an eyebrow, "…?"

"Dead."

"Oh."

Marik shook his head, "Dummy," he muttered under his breath. "So, this is how we'll figure it out… we'll jus do Rock, Paper, Scissors. Whoever loses, goes to search for the Pharaoh. Get it?"

"Got it."

"Good." Marik held out his fist and Bakura did the same. Bakura began the count off. "Rock, Paper, Scissors… Shoot!"

Bakura was paper and Marik was rock. "Wait, wait, do-overs!" Marik called out in disbelief.

"No do-overs! I won!" Bakura growled at his friend, "Paper beats rock, and besides, you're just mad cause you have to go and repay Yami from when he saved you. So, go on. Shoo."

"Argh! You're just scared! Best two out of three! If you back down, you're just worried your luck will run out against someone with real skill!"

Bakura jumped up and put his game face on, "Fine, then, Ishtar! This isn't about the Pharaoh, anymore, this is personal!"

Marik held out his fist, "Rock, Paper, Scissors… Shoot!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Yami was walking around, totally afraid. He thought he'd been going the right way but it seemed the more he walked the darker it became and he knew that wasn't right. Then, before he realized it, he was completely turned around.

"Damn it! Why didn't I take Marik or Bakura with me? At least then, I wouldn't be…" He swallowed hard, "Alone…"

A mushroom fell out of his arms and down onto the rocky ground. Yami hesitated for some reason, but bent over to pick it up anyway. When he lifted it off the ground, the torch in his hand fell to the floor and rolled into a rock… or what Yami thought was a rock. The flame died as soon as it hit.

"… If I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all." He sighed into the darkness. "Now, how am I suppose to find my way ba-"

Yami was interrupted by a sound that came from very near by. Grrr…

He gulped. "M-M-Marik…?"

Grrr…

"Ba-Bakura…?" His voice was desperate now, as the growl grew a little louder and a lot closer. Yami backed up and into something. "Ah-ah-ah…!" He was hyperventilating as cold hands laid themselves on his shoulders and worked their way around his neck.

Creepy voices whispered into his ears, _"Yami… We've come to drag you down… Yami…"_

"NNNNNOOOOOOO!" Yami screamed out, causing the bats from the cave's ceiling to fly away.

As Yami tried to get away, two evil yet playful laughs could be heard from behind him. A soft light glowed from behind him and he whirled around to see the glows coming from Marik and Bakura's millennium items.

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha!" Fits of giggles and laughter erupted from the two as they high-fived each other and starred down at the slightly shorter spirit. "Y-You should've seen your _face_!"

"That was _too_ priceless!" Bakura added, "I-I mean… really!"

Yami starred back at them with wide eyes, "You… you (bleep) tricked me! I can't believe that you would (bleep) (bleep) with me while I was in a moment of (bleep) (bleep)! Well, I hope you (bleep) (bleep) (bleep)! (Bleep) you all! I hope you (bleep) die! Burn at the stake!"

"…" After raising their eyebrows, Marik and Bakura grinned, "Oh, stop it. We just came to check on you. Chill."

Yami opened his mouth to say something else, but stopped immediately and widened his eyes. He pointed, wordlessly behind the taller yamis, "M-Ma-Marik… B- Bakura… W-wa-Watch… Watch out… t-the…"

Bakura smirked, "C'mon, Yami, how dumb do you think we are?"

"I know you're bitter, but we're not gonna fall for the old 'Look out behind you!' trick. It's older than you are." Marik added.

"Eh… eh…" Yami's eyes were now dilating. He turned tail and began running frantically in the opposite direction. "Screw this, I'm running for my second life!"

Marik cocked his head to one side, "What's gotten into his pants?"

Bakura shrugged.

They were about to go after him, to make sure he wasn't hurt, but then they heard a low growl from behind them. Bakura thought maybe it was Yami, so he turned around and flashed his millennium ring around.

"What do you see?" Marik asked.

"Eh… A few rocks, mushrooms, a mountain lion, and a bug. No Yami."

"Oh."

"…"

"…"

Suddenly, they both looked at each other, "A MOUNTAIN LION!"

"ROAR!" It pounced up and in front of the two. "Grrr…!" It growled and shifted his eyes from the blonde to the silver haired boy. Probably figuring out which one would taste better.

"AaAAaaAA…!" Marik began to cry hysterically, "What a-are we gonna _doooo, _Bakura, what in Ra's n-name are we gonna doooo!"

The lion stalked them by walking carefully in circles around them, causing the two to back into each other with nowhere to go. He moved in a little closer; Marik and Bakura took this chance to try and run in the other direction, but it seemed the lion's reflexes were much too fast. Every time they went one way, the lion moved there before they could escape. In less than a minute, they ended up running around in circles, yelling.

"Graahhh…!" A half moan, half purr came from the large cat as he cornered Marik by a big boulder. It looked like this was the end of the line for Marik as the lion was less than three inches away and was about to pounce again.

"Oh, R-Ra…Save me and I-I wont ever do anything mean t-t-to Yami again, ever, _ever_, never!" He shut his eyes and awaited the end.

It is said that when death is upon you, your life flashes before your eyes. Well, I suppose the same thing happened to Marik. The first image was his hikari, and then… Malik again. Oh, and Malik again. Then there was Malik on a boat, Malik losing his mind, and Malik in front of a pyramid saying, "Sassafras."

Uh… yeah.

"Akikikiiiiiiiiii!"

Marik's visions were interrupted as a battle cry came from the entrance of the cave. The lion's roar was heard and then a series of more yells and grunts. Marik thought it best to file this under _Hallucination_ and hide behind the large rock.

In less than a minute, nothing could be heard and silence filled the cave. Marik decided to make a run for it. So, out he went as fast as his muscular Egyptian legs would carry him. (And that's going somewhere around 15mph if there's Blueberry pie in sight.)

He opened his eyes when he made it to the entrance of the cave. It was still thundering outside, the ground damp with about two hours worth of consistent rain.

"Whew!" He sighed and leaned back against the cave wall, "Gee, I hope Bakura made it out…"

"Don't worry, I did." A voice from behind him said.

Marik whipped his head around, "Bakura! Hey, was that you that saved me?"

"Hmm?" Bakura shrugged, "I don't know. I was flying out of there like a bat outta hell, so I could've done anything. I know, when I left, the lion had you cornered and you were screaming for Malik."

"Oh." Marik pouted, "…Wait, you mean you would've let me die!"

Bakura grinned and fluffed his hair, "…"

"Um. Well, then. If that wasn't you, then it must've been-"

Suddenly, Marik and Bakura heard paw steps inside the cave. They jumped back a little and peeked in. It was the mountain lion. The two boys were about to run into the storm, yelling and screaming, but then they heard a familiar voice.

"Wait, guys, don't go." Yami said, sitting atop the back of the lion, smiling, "We can give you a lift when the rain clears up."

Bakura was aghast and hid behind Marik. Marik had so many questions. So many things he wanted- no, _needed_ to ask Yami. Starting with… "So…so that was _you _who saved me, Yami?"

"Yes. I saw Bakura running out here and knew you must've been bawling like a baby. Lucky for us, when I was ruling in Egypt, I had many friends that happened to be cats. And I learned how to talk to many different types of cats. And would you believe that a mountain lion is a cat? Go figure!"

Marik nodded, trying not to look too confused, 'This couldn't _possibly_ get any weirder… could it?'


	15. Found and Lost

Wish You Were Here 

Chapter 15:

It was around four in the morning when the rain cleared up. The sky was still dark, being that it was technically still night, but otherwise the stars were out and they were the traveling nomads' only source of light.

Heh. Actually, they weren't really nomads, but an odd group, nonetheless. A Tomb Keeper, a Tomb Robber, and an ancient Pharaoh who was riding atop a mountain lion.

They'd decided to carry on immediately after the rain stopped. Indeed, they were tired, but after everything that's already happened, they thought it best to keep both eyes open out in the wilderness.

For about five minutes, Yami had been happily humming to himself. But now he saw a faint blush on Marik's face as he and Bakura cautiously walked beside Yami's new friend.

"Marik." Yami mused, "Remember when you were pleading for your life in the cave back there?"

"Ugh… Yeah, what about it…?"

"Did you really mean what you said to Ra about never being mean to me again if you lived through it? If my memory serves me, you're exact words were 'ever, ever, never'."

Marik gasped, "You heard that!"

Bakura burst out in a fit of laughter, "Ha ha ha! Oh, man, Marik you really went low! Ever, ever, never! Ha ha ha ha!"

"Shut up!"

"So, did you mean it?" Yami repeated with a grin, "Because… you know what happens when you brake a promise to Ra. And I'd hate to see you get struck by lightning."

"Yeah, Marik," Bakura clasped his hands together and batted his eyelashes, "Are you going to be kind to Yami, now? Are you two going to be frriieennddss...?"

"Damn it! Will you kindly shut up!" Marik made the mistake of stomping his foot on the lion's front paw. It jumped up and turned on Marik, growling and such.

"Gah!" Marik backed up two steps, afraid of the teeth and claws. "I-I'm so-sorry!"

"There, there…" Yami patted the lion on the head and behind the ears, "He didn't mean any harm, Clara. Let's just keep going. If we get to the Ranger's cabin before day break, we can-"

"Hold, a moment." Bakura raised his hand, "Who is Clara?"

Yami pointed to the lion.

Marik sweatdropped, "You… you named the lion?"

"No. I didn't. She told me that was her name. Clara Maribel Thompson is her full name. Did you know she just had five cubs about a week ago? That was her house that we were in. She was just protecting them, which is why she was so violent. Isn't that right?" He somewhat cooed at the lion beneath him.

Clara purred.

Bakura puffed out his cheeks, "I just don't believe these stories you tell, Yami."

"I can't take much more of this."

Yami smiled, "C'mon, guys, you should be happy. We're close to the cabin!"

"How do you know?"

"Clara knows the way. You think we're taking this route for our health? I have no idea where we're going! But Clara says she knows this area like the tip of her tail, and that we should follow her."

Marik nodded to Bakura, "Our very survival depends on a mountain lion that an ancient and senile old King has made friends with. Seems appropriate."

* * *

Somewhere in the mist of the gray and black air surrounding the basin, a small moan pushed the silence away and filled the atmosphere with something much thicker. As the trees swayed in the after breeze of the storm, the moans began again.

"T-This is almost too much…!" The old creature had managed to bring itself to his feet and carry on. Even through all the pain and torment of the past two days, he was still stubborn about reaching his grandson's friends.

"Oh my…" He stopped to take a rest, "If only I could get to… to the ranger's station. Then maybe… m-maybe I wouldn't be so… so tired…"

He collapsed into a heap on the forest floor. It was unavoidable, the way he'd been traveling nonstop for the past 34 hours. He lay sleeping with nothing but twigs around him.

Coincidently, there was an astray log laying near him and as he rolled over onto his back, a part of the bark pulled on his 'Monkey-Man' disguise and revealed some of his face.

A little ways down the path, the traveling team of four were heading in the same direction the Monkey-Man once was. They came to the spot where he collapsed and starred down at him.

Yami tilted his head while Clara sniffed the motionless body, "Rawr…"

Marik shook his head, "I swear, that thing's stalking us. He's everywhere we are."

"Clara says it's human…" Yami said, mostly to himself, though it was audible to the others, "It… Could it really be a person?" He dismounted his friend and leaned in close to the figure.

"Careful, Pharaoh, it could bite your face off." Bakura warned, "And if that happened, what would you do with all that Mascara you have?"

"I don't use Mascara! My eyelashes are naturally full and thick!" He blushed a little and continued to inspect the supposedly human creature. Yami noticed a part of his face was in a flesh tone much like his own. He decided to investigate this further…

"Yami, don't!" Marik sounded a bit annoyed, "What, are you trying to pull his fur off? That's disgusting!"

"Ah!" Yami pulled back the layer of fur that was wrapped around his neck and revealed a perfectly human face, aside from dirt and wrinkles, he was… normal. And furthermore, he was also… "Grandpa!"

"What! No way!" Bakura and Marik's voices rang together as they gathered around the old man's snoring form. They were astonished to find that it was indeed Yugi's grandfather, back from the grave.

"I can't believe it!"

"This is odd."

"Oh, YES!" Yami embraced his hikari's granddad in a warm hug, "I'm so unbelievably happy! Oh, Grandpa, you have no idea how much I've missed you! It was unbearable, the pain I felt, the guilt! It probably hurt me more than you…"

"Eh, I doubt that."

Marik nodded, "Yeah. Judging from all the wounds he's got... Just look at him. Bakura has kicked him in the face, that crazy man stomped on him, we ran from him the entire weekend. Talk about hard luck."

"Ah… eh…?" The man began to wake in Yami's arms, "Y-Yami…? Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me. We're all hear and very sorry we mistook you for something else! Can you ever forgive us?"

Grandpa's face arranged itself into a small smile, "O-Of course, I can…!" He whispered hoarsely, "We're buddies!"

Marik took a closer look at the fur that Yami took off of Grandpa. Upon further inspection, it was discovered to be… "What the hell! My world domination blankie! How'd that get here?"

"Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" A distant voice began to get closer and closer, the maniacal laugh becoming stronger. "PERFECT! Ah ha ha ha ha!"

Clara quickly switched around, lowering her head and growling towards the sound. Marik and Bakura backed up behind her and gulped, "Oh no, it's him."

"Who?" Yami asked.

"Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Come here, my little Yummies!" Over the hill and a lot closer now, a form of a man running at them was now clearly visible. The same man, who'd tried to shoot them before, was now chasing them again with his gun aiming straight at their group.

"We've gotta go, now, Yami!" Bakura looked at his prince who was still holding on to Grandpa, securely.

"But, we can't just leave Grandpa here!"

"Ugh…" Marik held his head, "Think, think, think… I got it! Me and Bakura will run like hell and you stay here with Gramps and the animal."

"Grr…" Clara growled at being called a animal.

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Marik!"

"Yami!"

"Bakura!"

"W-Wait." Came Grandpa's frail voice, "You guys can go, really, I'll be okay."

Yami was about to object, but the man was in shooting range now. Instead he looked at Clara and made a sort of mewing sound with the back of his throat at her. She did it again in a lower tone.

"Okay, this is what we'll do," Yami converted back to speaking English, "Clara said she'll stay here to make sure Grandpa's alright. She said go straight and turn to the left, then we'll see the Ranger's Station."

He slowly got up and Marik and Bakura dragged him off, "Grandpa, we will see you soon! Bye, Clara, thank you for everything!"

Just as the three yamis left, Ranger Sweet came stampeding down the path and came across Clara and Grandpa, "Hmm? Hey, where'd those Yiggies go?"

Clara growled and walked slowly up to him, baring her fangs.

Ranger Sweet flinched, but didn't worry. He'd come against wild animals before and was always prepared. He sighed and filled his gun with tranquilizers. Being a Ranger, he wasn't allowed to use anything but tranquilizers on wildlife. Sweet lifted the gun and shot. Clara fell into a snoring heap, right before his eyes.

"Hmm." Sweet grinned at Grandpa, who was now unarmed, "This is that animal I was chasing earlier, isn't it?"

"W-Wait a minute! I'm a human!" He waved his arms about, "See?"

"Ha ha! Your tricks don't fool me, fur-man! How dumb do you think I am?" Sweet grabbed Grandpa by the back of his shirt, "Just wait. I'll get Mr. Motou's Yuris back and be world-renowned for finding the missing link! S.W.A.T, here I come." He whistled happily as he dragged the old man kicking and screaming down the dirt path.


	16. Thank you for being a friend!

Wish You Were Here 

Chapter 16:

The sun picked this particular moment to climb over the horizon. It's colors painting the new sky until it was no longer blue but a crayon box disarrayed on a table. Signaling to all that it was morning on this side of Earth. Under the magnificent colors, was a land of nothing but green as far as the eye could see. A black Mercedes was speeding through the cool forest as fast as it could with no speed limit to obey.

"Are you reading the map right, Yugi?" Malik asked as he shifted into reverse, "Cause I think we missed our turn."

Yugi frowned and flipped the map right side up, "…Oops."

"Oops! What oops?"

"Ah ha ha ha…" He grinned sheepishly, "I had the map upside down. How, uh, funny…"

"Aw, what!" Malik slammed on the breaks and sighed, "Ugh, okay… Wait, I don't know why we're in such a rush anyway. Don't we have that Ranger on the job?"

Ryou scowled at him, "Bleh! What an incompetent idiot! He lost Marik and Bakura by calling them 'Yummy'! Then Yami wasn't even with them. And he's claiming there's a prehistoric animal in this forest. What a bloody imbecile."

"Oh, yeah. Ryou, remember when I was yelling at him and you took the phone away? (Ryou nodded) Well, what'd you say to him?"

"… I told him that if we arrive and they're not in the cabin with him, he will not be heard from again." Ryou lifted his millennium ring, "And I meant it."

* * *

Meanwhile, on the dusty trail again, Marik, Bakura, and Yami were almost to the Ranger's Cabin (Never thought I'd say that). Although Marik and Bakura were in high spirits and singing the theme song to Golden Girls, Yami was dragging his feet and crying his eyes out.

"Oh-ho, wwwhhhyyy? WHY? OH RA, WHY!" Yami bawled and called out into the azure sky, "It's not fair! It's not fair! Yugi's gonna… he's gonna… oh, Grandpa!"

"_Thank you for bein a friend_!" Bakura smiled and sang aloud, "_Travel down the road and back again… you're heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant… Dum dum dum… And if you threw a party- invited everyone you knnneeww… you would see, the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say-"_

Marik joined him, "THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND!"

"AaaAAaaAa…!" Yami sank down to his knees and shouted, "Waaaaahhhhh!"

Bakura kneeled down and patted Yami on the back, "I know, I know. It makes me cry too. That's my favorite song."

"I don't think he means the song, Bakura." Marik rolled his eyes.

"C-Can't take it, I just can't take it anymore!" Yami called out through watery eyes.

"Jeez, my singing wasn't that bad."

"He's not talking about the song!"

"Waahhh…!"

"Yami-"

"Bakura-"

"Grandpa!"

"Hi-oh, hi-oh! It's off to work we go… La la la la la la la la, hi-ho, hi-ho!" Sang a cheerful voice from behind the three yamis. Following the voice was Sweet, dragging Grandpa by the back of his collar through the dirt.

"I'm not an animal!" Grandpa called to him, "Listen to me, darn it! Let me go! See? I'm human! Human, I say!"

Sweet grinned, "That's what they all say, fur-man. That's what they all say."

Marik, Yami and Bakura were hiding in a nearby bush as the Ranger and his prisoner walked by and into the cabin on the side of the trail. The door shut and locked behind them, and the yamis were left watching in awe.

"Ah!" Yami jumped out of the bush, "H-How'd he capture Grandpa?"

Bakura and Marik came out next, "I wonder what happened to Clara," Bakura said, "Maybe he… you know?"

Yami shook his head furiously, "I can't believe this! That man just waltzed right into the cabin and… and… took Grandpa hostage! C-Can you believe this? Where the hell is that Ranger Sweet we've heard about? How's he gonna-"

"Chill, Yami." Marik closed his eyes, "Let's just figure this out the old fashion way."

They tilted their heads, "How's that?"

"By spying, of course!" He pointed to a window on the side of the cabin. Yami and Bakura nodded and they snuck over to check it out.

When the window was reached, each yami had to duck down to keep their faces out of sight. After they were sure they were hidden, they peeked up a little and watched the odd-looking scene unfold.

"Ha ha ha!" Laughed Sweet from inside the room. His arms were folded as he starred down on Grandpa who was tied up, sitting in front of a table, "I've finally caught the missing link! The very bridge between man and ape! I'll go down in history and I might even be head of the S.W.A.T team one day. What do you think about that, big-foot?"

"First of all, I'm human! And second, my feet are only a size nine! They're not big at all." The old man huffed.

"Ah, denial, denial. Well, if you'll excuse me," He picked up his gun, "I've got Yummies to hunt."

As he began to leave, Grandpa stopped him by calling out, "Wait!"

"What?"

"What are these… Yummies you keep talking about?"

"… Oh, those. They're my first mission. Mr. Motou has asked me to capture his Yummies and wait for his return. Later."

He left and shut the door behind him, locking it so no one could go in or out.

Grandpa tilted his head, "Mr… Motou? Yugi! Wait! Those are yamis! Yamis! Come back here! Ranger Sweet, wait for me pleas-" In all his excitement, Grandpa managed to tip himself over and lay rolling on the floor.

Outside the cabin, Yami, Marik, and Bakura were left with their mouths wide open. After a second of gaping silence, they looked at each other and said in unison…

"Did you hear that!"

Marik looked blatantly at Yami, "Yeah, you're hikari ordered that guy to track us down! I can so not believe this."

Yami shook his head, "No, no. T-That's… that's not right. Yugi told me himself, he had a ranger around here to help us out. And unless…."

All three sets of eyes widened at once, "He's Ranger Sweet!"

"Oh my Ra, this can't be happening!" Yami held his head and shouted, "The guy we've been running from the entire weekend is also the one we've been trying to find! This nut is our only way out of here and he's gone crazy and kidnapped Grandpa!"

"Well, I'm certainly not going to run into a man's arms who intends on shooting me." Bakura said with confidence.

The other two looked at him strangely but decided on letting it go.

"We've gotta get Grandpa out of there." Marik turned to Yami, "How? We can't just waltz in there. That Ranger is stalking around here somewhere and the door is locked. It'd take us a second to get it open."

"Yeah, there's gotta be some way…" Yami's voice trailed off as he looked at Bakura. "Bakura!" He and Marik shouted at once.

"What?"

"You could be the distraction," Yami answered, "C'mon, Bakura, please! You're really good at running. All you have to do is make sure Sweet sees you and make him chase you in the other direction. When you've lost him, come back here!"

"Are you mad?" Bakura shouted, horror stricken, "I'm not going to be bait! And what makes you think I could lose him, anyway? You know how fast that psychopath runs!"

"You're one to talk." Marik said, picking his teeth, "And anyway, you're always bragging about how 'smart' you are. Just outwit him, he's dumb."

Bakura nodded and giggled, "Well… I am pretty smart, if I do say so myself…"

"Great, then it's settled!" Yami jumped up and grabbed Bakura's arm, "Get going, Bakura, we can't wait all day. He could be-"

The sound of a gun fired in the distance.

"That must be him."

Bakura peeked around the corner of the cabin and there was Ranger Sweet. He was blowing off steam by shooting squirrels and birds out of their trees. "This is so not good!" He shouted when he was done, "They're not here! I've looked everywhere and if I don't find-"

Ring-Ring-Ring!

Ranger Sweet looked down at his cell phone, with a grimace on his face. He sighed and lifted it to his ear, "Y-Yes? This is Ranger Sw-"

"Listen here, Mr. Sweet." Came a calm, yet menacing voice, "We're going to be there in an hour. All three of us. And we're going to be expecting our other halves. All three of them."

Another voice was heard in the distance, "Yugi, is the map still upside down!"

"No! I flipped it!" Ruffling was heard, "…Oops."

"Oops!"

"Will you two be silent! Being menacing doesn't come naturally and you aren't making it any easier!" He paused, "Sweet… do you remember what we talked about?"

Sweet swallowed hard and muttered, "… Never heard from a-again…"

"There's a good boy." He smiled from the other side of the line, "You now have 55 minutes. Good luck."

Bleep-Bleep-Bleep…

He hung up the phone and sighed, "Great… Ugh! WHERE ARE YOU!" And started shooting at random things again.

Bakura gulped, "Damn." He got up and walked, shakily, in front of the cabin, towards Ranger Sweet.

Sweet looked at him, "Ah… hey! You're one of them, aren't you? Come here!" He lifted his gun and steadied himself.

"Gah!" Bakura jumped up and sprinted into the woods, "Nya nya! You can't catch me!" He taunted while running for his life.

"Come back here, you dirty rotten Yummy!" Sweet called, chasing after him and leaving his station unguarded.

Marik grinned, "Wow, I never realize how fast Bakura runs. He's really making that psychopath sweat!"

"I guess it makes a difference in endurance when you're about to be shot." Yami shrugged and pointed towards the door, "Come on, let's try and open the door. We've gotta go play hero."


	17. I've got a Secret

Wish You Were Here 

Chapter 17:

The trees were going by faster than he'd ever seen them. Not only was he running on empty, but he was also running out of places to hide. The Ranger seemed very in tune with the surrounding area and it was almost impossible to get him off of his trail.

Of course, Bakura didn't want to totally lose Ranger Sweet. If he did, Sweet would more than likely give up and go back to his cabin. Which was something Bakura was trying to prevent for as long as possible.

Sweet shot again and missed, "Damn it! Those things can really run! Come back here, you Yummy!"

"It's YAMI!" Bakura called, accidentally giving his position away. Sweet grinned and followed Bakura's voice. In no time, he'd seen him behind a tree and shot.

The dart made it's way into Bakura's hair. He thought he'd been shot somewhere on his body, but when he saw the dart in his hair, he sighed and continued running. Sweat going down his face at every angle, this was almost more than the ex-Tomb Robber could take. Yet he was determined not to give up just because some crazed psychopath was trigger-happy and wanted to capture him.

He'd just have to try harder.

* * *

The door creaked and grated against it's old hinge. Boom after boom, no matted how hard he tried, the old wooden door would not move. He'd been at it for about ten minutes now and it wasn't getting any easier. It seemed as if the door was built specially for this moment of resistance, and all it's energy throughout it's lifetime was now put to the test.

Marik wiped the sweat from his forehead and leaned back, "… This isn't going to work, Yami. We have to think of something else."

Yami looked in through the window and then out towards the dusty road where everything was silent for the moment, "Hmm. How long has Bakura been gone…?"

"About fifteen minutes or so. I wouldn't worry about him. He's had lots of practice. Whenever something dangerous comes around, he's the first to bolt out the door."

"Still." He turned back to the door, "He may be back any second and we haven't done anything yet."

"I don't know about you, but I've been working very hard!" Marik growled at the door and shook it's handle again, "We… we need something hard! Something that we can ram…" His voice trailed off as his eyes settled on Yami.

"Um… yes?"

He grinned wider.

"I-Is there something I can - Marik!" Yami screamed as Marik lifted him up with one hand grasping Yami's hair and the other holding onto his upper thigh.

Marik hoisted him a bit higher then rammed Yami's body, headfirst into the door. At first it didn't move, just a small creak and the only other sound was Yami's howling. Another hit and one of the hinges flew right off and into a bush.

"Almost there, Yami! One more should do it!"

"Oh, Marik! Please, don't, I can't take much m- AHHH!"

This time, Marik used all his might to get the most out of Yami's head; pounding it right into the center of the wooden frame. The door gave way and broke in two from the force of Yami's head.

Marik grinned and dropped Yami, "Well, it's open."

"Eh-eh… Gah…!" Yami tried his best to be and man and hide his pain. Although it was a bit obvious because of the large, red bump in the middle of his hair and a few open wounds on his forehead, "M-Marik… Look what you did…!"

"Hmm?" Marik looked down at the biggest of Yami's cuts. It was bleeding a little. "Oh. Just rub some dirt in that, it'll be fine."

Yami gasped.

Marik was about to do it for him but then a series of moans were heard from inside. They decided to go in, because they'd forgotten about Grandpa for a little bit.

When Yami flicked on the lights, the inside of the cabin was a real mess. Dust was collecting on every piece of furniture, all the curtains had been devoured by moths and, right in front of the old desk, was a man bound and gagged and moaning for help.

"Mmf mmm! Mmm mmf!" Came the mumbles and howls.

"Grandpa!" Quickly, Yami ran over to him and tilted him up off the ground, "Are you okay? Did that bad old Ranger hurt you?" He sounded as if he were consoling a child now, "Well, that's okay because he's gone now and I'll never let him hurt you ever, ever again!"

Grandpa's eyes narrowed, "Mmf…"

"What's wrong?"

Marik walked over and rolled his eyes, "You idiot, he wants to be untied." Marik unwrapped the sheets and untied his wrists and ankles.

When all the restraints were taken off, Grandpa gasped for air and shouted out to the world, "I'm free!"

"Yeah, yeah. You're free, I heard already…" Marik rolled his eyes. He watched as Yami and Grandpa hugged and asked each other the same questions over and over again. He cleared his throat, "Um… I hate to dry this little tear-jerker but ya mind if we get this show on the road?"

Just as Yami opened his mouth to speak, a sound was heard outside the broken door, and in came Bakura. Sweating from head to toe and out of breath. He could hardly even speak, although that didn't stop him from trying.

"I-I… Sw-Sweet… He… we… r-ran and…" He paused a moment and swallowed, "C-Can't breath…!"

"Bakura!" Yami exclaimed, "You're alive!"

Marik sighed sarcastically, "No, Yami. He's not alive. Ranger Sweet shot him and this is his ghost, back from the grave. Ooh…"

Yami frowned then ran over to Bakura and smiled brightly, "So, I bet something cool happened, right, Bakura? I bet you were running and then he cornered you on a cliff. Then he said something like 'This is the end of the line for you!' then you were all 'I have not yet begun to fight!' After that there was an epic battle with blades and axes and pigs named Estella! And you raised your mighty dagger and plunged it into his black heart while calling out 'Never more!' into the sky! The sun set and you rode off into the distance on your white stallion named Fred!" He took a deep breath, "So, am I right, am I right?"

Bakura and Marik sighed in frustration.

"Actually," Bakura said, "I hid under a bush then came back here."

Yami looked a bit disappointed. "Oh… I-I see."

Grandpa was more than confused. But he decided to ask more helpful questions when he realized the others wouldn't help, "So, Bakura, that Ranger didn't follow you back, did he?"

"No way!" Bakura snapped, "I may have had a little trouble, but the Tomb Robber touch never fades! I'm still in tip-top sneaky condition."

"Well, be that as it may," Yami nodded, "He'll still come back here. He lives here, after all… I think we should get going before he comes back and we're all trapped here."

Everyone else nodded in agreement and they were about to head out the door, but then they heard something from inside the room. It sounded odd, a cry of pain, or a moan… They couldn't quite put their finger on it, but, due to his curiosity, Yami wanted to find the source.

"What do you think it is, you guys…?" Yami tip-toed around the couches and the curtains. Carefully searching for the sound's origin.

"Yami, don't!" Marik insisted, "I thought you said we should go. Haven't you learned your lesson? Every time we're curious, we find something that wants to eat, maim and or shoot us."

"I know, I know, but…" His voice trailed off as he peeked behind the desk in the middle of room. "Oh Ra!"

Bakura immediately hid behind Marik and Grandpa, "What! What is it? Tell me, so I can run and get it over with, dammit!"

Yami crawled under and emerged in about a second, dragging a huge wiggling bundle of white sheets onto the floor, "You guys! There's someone in here! Hurry, help me get them out!"

Since Bakura was still cowering in fear, Marik walked over and calmly helped Yami untie whomever was inside the sheets. Just as they had done for Grandpa, in no time the sheets were off and cast aside. They revealed a man, slightly older than them, around forty or so. He was dusty and… smelly.

"Gah!" Yami scooted back a ways, "W-Who are you?"

The man coughed a little, then chocked out, "I-I'm so glad… someone came to my rescue! Do you even know how long I'd been in there?"

They all shook their heads, no.

"Well! I've been locked under there for about a month now. Ever since he's had this whole S.W.A.T obsession, it seemed that it has clouded his judgement! I mean, really, taking over before his time, that's just-"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Bakura, Marik, and Yami shouted at once, "Let's slow it down for a sec. Whose… he? And who are you!"

"Oh." He scratched his head, "I'm sorry forgive me. My name is Ranger Sweet. And 'he' is Claude."

"What!" Yami tilted his head, "You're Ranger Sweet? B-But I thought… that man… he was…"

Marik shrugged, "I'm lost."

"No, no. You see, the Ranger that you may be familiar with is Claude, my son. I was still ranger on this mountain before my son went crazy and tied me up! One day, while I was taking a nap, Claude came in here ranting about being rejected from the S.W.A.T team. He threw sheets over me and hid me under that desk, I've been there ever since!"

"…Whoa." They gasped in awe.

Yami was the first to speak, "H-He's… really insane, isn't he…?"

"I'll say!" Marik pumped his fist in the air, grinning, "He's totally wicked! Tying up his dad, taking over the mountain and trying to get into S.W.A.T! That's sick and awe inspiring!"

Bakura nodded, "Yeah yeah, he's hardcore."

"Are you nuts?" Grandpa asked them, "That isn't good! We'd best get out of here while we still can!"

Yami agreed and headed for the door. But before any of them could get out, a figure appeared in the doorway. It came into the light and revealed the face of Ranger Sweet, "So, I see you've all discovered my little secret… Well, I'm sorry, but…" He grinned with his gun at his side, "This is as far as it's going."


	18. A threeway Mission

Wish You Were Here

Chapter 18:

Whistles were being made. By the wind gracing the cracks of the broken old cabin. It was about eleven or so in the morning and everything was still a bit new and exciting. The leaves were always so much greener in the sweet summer morning. Grass blades were blowing whichever way the wind was, and right then, it was gently touching the Ranger's Station.

It was silent since the young Ranger had walked into the room. Bakura smacked himself in the face and sighed, "Damn it, he followed me…"

Grandpa pointed at Sweet, "You are very unpleasant to be around. I think you should leave."

Bakura and Marik glared at the old man, "Yeah, Gramps, like that's really going to make him leave us alone. You're gonna have to try harder than that."

Ranger Sweet ignored their comments and looked over at the man who claimed to be his father, "Oh, just great. How the hell did you escape?"

"Claude, you address me as your father. And, for your information, these young heroes saved me from under you desk! You little ingrate!" He turned to the yamis, "Thank you so much, children."

"Ah, shucks…" Yami blushed, "You're welcome, Mr. Sweet."

"No, no, please call me Papa."

"Uh… um, Papa. O-Okay." Yami was slightly disturbed at this.

Sweet was fuming mad, "You mean to tell me that you little Yummies released my dad after I was this close to finishing my mission and becoming a part of S.W.A.T?"

"You're a nut and a half, Claude." 'Papa' glared at his son, "Why in the world would you believe that S.W.A.T would let you be a member? The very most they'd do for you would probably involve a straight-jacket and a little trip with men in white suits."

"See? That's what I'm talking about! You just don't get it! I'll have you know that I wrote them a letter with all my credentials on it. Recommendations and-"

"Who in their right mind would recommend you?" Bakura mumbled.

"GAAHHH! Insolence! Disrespect! I won't stand for it!" He waved around his gun and shot about ten holes through the roof and the walls. He'd missed only a small space in front of the desk, and that's where everyone was huddled up, trying to hide behind each other.

"Now," He continued, "As I was saying… Recommendations and now… this!" Sweet raced over to the frightened bunch and removed Grandpa from the lot, "The missing link between man and ape! When they see what I have captured, they're sure to see my worth and welcome me with open arms!"

Bakura and Marik looked at each other, "I swear, it just doesn't stop…!"

Yami blinked and looked at Grandpa, "… Wait a minute. He's human. He may have dirt on him, but…! He doesn't look like any animal! He's my hikari's Grandfather!"

"Yeah, sure." Sweet nodded sarcastically, "He's a human… Okay, okay, I believe you. But I'm still turning him in. Maybe they can dissect him and find a cure for the common cold."

"You're crazy!" Grandpa shouted and tried to free himself from the Ranger's tight grip, "Let me go! I don't wanna be dissected!"

'Papa' growled and walked over to Claude, "Listen here, young man! What have I told you over and over again? You do NOT try to sell the elderly to government operations, that's against the Mountain Ranger's code."

"Too late, Dad! I'm already prepared!" Sweet walked over to a strange-looking box that was covered with a white sheet. He threw off the cover and revealed a steal cage, that was about the size of a large gopher. Sweet shoved the old man into it and slammed the door shut. "There we go."

"W-What have you done?" Yami cried.

"Just secured my future." He replied calmly. Then he turned around, "Excuse me, a have to make a call."

Yami sighed and looked around. Sweet was standing in the middle of the room and, with the gun in his hand, it seemed to risky to just try and make a run for it. So, the Pharaoh turned to his fellow yamis and hurried them into a huddle.

"Okay guys," He whispered, "We need to get Grandpa and get out of here. I can cell phone Yugi and the others but one of you have to create a distraction so I'm not noticed."

Bakura was looked at first, but he just raised an eyebrow and dismissed the very thought. "Yeah, right."

Marik twisted his mouth, "Aw, I know where this is going. Fine, fine… I'll try and do something, but I'm not guaranteeing any miracles."

"Great, I only need a few minutes." Yami nodded, "Let's get to work."

Just as they all turned around, they found Ranger Sweet starring at them with the evil eye and tapping his foot, "What was that all about? What were you three doing?"

"Uh, nothing…" Marik sighed, "Hey, can we leave?"

"Heh! Yeah, right. Now that you've discovered my father, I can't just let you Waltz right out of here."

"Waltz… Hmm?" Marik coughed, "Actually, I'm more of a Tango-man, myself."

"Really?" Sweet seemed a little interested, "Y-You know how to Tango? I had a training-video on how to Tango, but it wasn't very good. I watch people on TV too, but… I've been really wanting to learn…"

"Ah, well you're lucky you ran into me! I'm Lord of the Dance. Look, it's simple, all you do is…"

His voice trailed off as he took Ranger Sweet's hands and led him around the floor, going slowly at first, because the Ranger was a beginner, but then speeding up as Sweet got a feel for the dance.

"Wow…" Sweet whispered, "This is really easy. You're a great teacher… Much better than my How To Tango Video!"

Marik grinned, "Well, you know how it is."

As Marik dipped Sweet again, he noticed Bakura and Yami starring at him with the most peculiar expressions on their faces. Kind of like a deer caught in headlights. Marik mouthed to them, 'What the hell are you doing, Yami? The Tango can only be so long before it gets boring! Make your call!'

Yami snapped out of it and hid behind the desk with his cell phone. As it rung, Yami thought, 'Marik's really good at distractions…'

Ring-Ring-Ring!

"H-Hello? Yami, is that y-you?" It sounded like a jumbled up Yugi.

"Yugi." Yami whispered, "What's happening to you? It sounds as if you're on a roller coaster. Well, anyways-"

"Sorry, Yami, h-hold on…" Yugi moved the phone away from his ear a called to Malik, "C'mon, Ma-Malik! Can't y-you drive any smoother…!"

It was another minute before Yugi was back on the phone, "Y-Yami, I-I can't t-talk right now…! We're go . . . . going. . . . and I can't. . . . no service…"

Yami began to panic, "Yugi! I can't hear you very well…!"

"In a. . . . Malik says. . . minutes. . . you, Yami!"

The line went dead. Bleep-Bleep-Bleep… Yami put the cell phone back around his neck and came back from behind the desk. When he emerged, he found Marik leaning against the desk alongside Bakura.

"Guys…" Yami began as he touched Bakura's shoulder.

They both frowned at him, "Yami, I wouldn't move, if I was you."

Yami tilted his head in question. They pointed to the floor and Yami noticed that 'Papa' was laying on the ground, motionless. He studied him closer and then looked over at the chair across the room. A bunch of tranquilizer darts were on it.

"W-Where's Ranger Sweet…?" Yami almost couldn't get the sentence out. "W-Where'd he go?"

Marik nodded in Yami's direction, "That's why I said not to move."

Yami's eyes widened as he shakily and slowly turned around. When he did, he noticed that Ranger Sweet was right up on him, breathing heavily.

"GGAAHH!" Yami jumped up and into Marik's arms. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR DAD?"

Sweet tapped his gun and grinned evilly, "He was talking too much."

"Oh my Ra! You shot your dad! You killed Papa!"

"Relax…" He patted Yami's hair in what he thought was a calming manner, "These are safety bullets. They don't kill people. Just a mild paralyze."

"Just?" Yami yelled and jumped off of Marik, "Okay, this has gone far enough, Claude! No more! That's the end! I demand that you let my Grandpa out of his cage and let me and my friends go! Right this moment!"

The gun was then pointed right at Yami's nose, "Care to say that again?" Sweet's voice was a bit more harsh.

"Um… please?"

"Smooth…" Marik and Bakura echoed each other, "Real smooth, Yami."

"Shut up, you two! I don't see any bright ideas coming from your heads!"

"I say we play dead." Bakura said. Everyone, including Ranger Sweet, starred at him. Bakura blushed briefly then pouted.

"Alright, this has gone far enough." Sweet cocked his gun, "Mr. Motou said by any means necessary and if you won't come quietly, I'll just have to make you quiet!" His gun was aimed right for Yami's head, but just as he was firing, Marik smacked the Ranger's hand and his gun went off in the other direction.

BAM!

"HOLY (BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!)!" Marik shouted at the top of his lungs. When the bullet redirected after Marik's intervention, he was shot in the shin. At fist the pain really didn't register, but that was only a millisecond, then it felt like hell was having a party in his right shin.

"OH MY FREAKING RA!" He screamed in agony and fell to the floor moaning and groaning, holding the penetrated part of his leg.

Bakura's eyes were wide in shock, "Man, that must hurt. Glad it's not me."

Yami, on the other hand, was down on the floor with Marik crying his eyes out and shouting, "Oh, Marik! Are you okay? Speak to me! Speak to me!" He kept shaking the taller yami and Marik brain's were scrambling.

"S-Stop shaking me, y-you idiot! I'm fine!"

Sweet raised his gun again, this time at Bakura, "I swear, nothing ever goes as planned." Suddenly, just before he shot, there was a sound heard, coming from the open door. It got louder and all of a sudden, a black Mercedes burst through the door, tearing apart the front half of the cabin and virtually wreaking what was left of the door.

Grandpa screamed and so did the Ranger. Both for different reasons. 

The doors flew open and out came Malik, Ryou, and Yugi. Ryou and Yugi's hair was more wild than usual, probably due to Malik's crazed driving. Going down the hill without stopping and making tight curves around trees… Yugi's car was banged up beyond belief.

"WHAT IN HEAVEN OR HELL'S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" All the hikari's screamed at once. All the angered yells were directed at Ranger Sweet and the gun in his hand that was directed at Bakura. They also noticed Marik's bleeding on the floor and Yami crying uncontrollably.

Through watery eyes, all three yamis called out to their other halves.

"Malik! Get over here!"

"Y-Yugi… Look what h-happened…"

"Ryou? What are you doing here?"

Before Sweet could do anything, Malik ran over and punched him in the face, knocking him on the floor, the gun flew out of his hand and landed over near Grandpa's small cage.

Yugi looked at him and gasped, "G-Grandpa! Y-You're al-alive!" He ran over to the cage and unlocked it, letting the old man free once again. He gingerly crawled out and fell into Yugi's small arms.

"Oh, Yugi, I'm so glad you're here…! I didn't think we were gonna make it for a second. When that Ranger started shooting and-"

"So this is what happens when you're given an assignment, Ranger Sweet." Ryou appeared next to the Ranger who was now quivering in his boots, "This is what happens when I tell you to hold onto our other halves until we arrive…?"

Sweet fumbled for an explanation, "B-But… you said by any means necessary… A-And-"

"Mmm hmm…" Ryou mused and turned to Yugi and Malik who were grinning. "I did say that. And does anyone remember what else was said?"

Malik and Yugi's millennium items began to glow but before anything was said, Ranger Sweet was running towards the large hole in the wall, screaming and crying, "Noooooo! Never seen again, nooooooo!"

Just as it seemed that Sweet might've gotten away, another vehicle pulled up, blocking his escape. A large, black truck accompanied by a few helicopters hovering over the small cabin. They all landed slowly and loads of men jumped out, wearing black outfits with a yellow word printed over everything. S.W.A.T.

Everyone in the cabin watched as some of the men came inside. One with shades made his way over to Yugi and flashed a card, "Mr. Motou, I presume?"

"Uh… yeah, what can I help you with?"

"A Claude Sweet resides on this mountain as the son of Ranger Sweet, we need to speak with him. Any of you know his whereabouts?"

Marik, Bakura and Yami pointed outside to the man who was rushing around, trying to get people to sign his stomach. The man cleared his throat and walked out. He waved his hands, a bunch of men jumped on Sweet and forced him into the truck, kicking and screaming.

Bakura and Yugi went outside as the helicopters began to take off, "Wait," Yugi asked one of the men, "What's all this for?"

"We've been receiving information from an unknown source that Mr. Sweet had been doing some shady things to try and infiltrate our organization throughout the past few months. Recently, we've confirmed that Mr. Sweet was indeed involved in a number of kidnappings and strange… 'animal sacrifices'."

"Um… okay." Bakura was even more confused.

"I suggest," He continued, "That you call an ambulance for those two." He motioned towards Marik and 'Papa' who were both bleeding. "Heavy bleeding could mean trouble. Good bye."

He disappeared into the van and, in a moment, there was not a trace of their visit left. Except, of course, the giant hole in the cabin wall. 


	19. The Bonding

Wish You Were Here

Chapter 19:

After all the helicopters and vans were gone, their were two things that were done. Number one being that an organization of underground scientists showed up out of no where and were desperately wanting a mysterious 'missing link'. After a few minutes of confusion, everyone explained that it was merely an old man and nothing more. The scientists understood but wanted to take him in for some tests, anyway. So, off Grandpa went, without much resistance.

The second thing done was that an ambulance was called for 'Papa'. Right before the group left, they made sure that he was properly taken care of and then they got in their beat up Mercedes and began the long drive back home. Marik was not as taken care of as 'Papa' was, though. He was bandaged with Malik's shirt and was laying propped up on the door handle, in the back seat. His head resting on Malik's lap, Marik just wouldn't stop complaining…

"I'm telling you, Malik, I'm in agony!" Marik wailed, "Do I have to spell it out for you? A-G-O-N-Y!"

"Ugh…"

"I'll be wounded for life. I had the most perfect body up until today. And now I'm gonna have an awful, ugly scar right below my right kneecap."

"Marik-"

"I seriously thought I was going to die… All I could see was a bunch of white lights and then… nothing. I thought I heard some angel's singing, but that might have just been Bakura's girlish screams."

Bakura cackled, "Yeah right, Marik. The only girlish screams I heard were yours." He mimicked Marik, in an obscenely good impersonation, "Oh, oh! My leg! Somebody, help me! Please! Oh, oh! Hold me!"

"Come over here and say that to my face!"

Malik grinned, "Marik, if you're going to keep this up, you can ride in the trunk. I don't think it hurts all that much. And even if it does, you should be proud."

"…Proud?"

"Yes, because you did it for a somewhat noble cause."

"Noble…?" Marik looked at Yami, who was peaking over the front seat, "Oh, you mean him! I didn't do it to save him! Yuck! I did it because the gun was pointing at his forehead and I didn't want the Pharaoh's brains all over me!"

"Yeah, sure…" Malik rolled his eyes.

Yami hadn't stopped apologizing to Marik since they left. By now it was getting rather annoying.

"I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry, Marik, honest! Really, really! I'll do anything! Just name it, I am at your beckon call! No job too big or small! You name it, and I mean, I'm there, baby. Anything! Anything! Anything!"

Marik and Malik had a joint idea and grinned at Yami. Marik said, smoothly, "Give me your millennium puzzle and we'll call it even."

Yami looked a little surprised. He turned his head and looked at his hikari with asking eyes. Yugi gasped and shouted, "NO!"

Yami sighed along with Marik and Malik. They shrugged at Yugi's glare in the rearview mirror, "It was worth a try."

"I think it's a good experience for you, Marik." Ryou said as he leaned back, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger. And, of course, you knew you weren't going to die from that. For Ra's sake, it's only a flesh wound." He leaned back further and poked Marik's leg through his pants.

"AAHH!" Marik screamed as Ryou giggled and continued to poke it, "MAKE HIM STOP!"

Bakura grinned and looked at his hikari, "Oh, and Ryou, I was very impressed with your performance… I had no idea you had it in you to be… that way. It was really good."

"Thanks, I've just been watching you a lot and it just… rubbed off on me, I guess. No big, just instinct… I think."

"Instinct or no instinct… in was pretty cool. The only thing you were missing was a dagger…"

Ryou blushed, "I-I could never have a… Well, I have been thinking…"

A wide grin came over Bakura's face, "R-Really? That's great, Ryou! We'll go get one right away! What's your favorite color? It's blue, right? We could get a matching one to mine, only with blue Egyptian symbols, and you know, I was thinking about getting myself another one so we can both get a large!" He took in a deep breath, "What do you think?"

"A-Ah, Bakura, you're scaring me…"

"Chill, Bakura," Marik sighed, "Ryou's not as sadistic as you are."

"Shut up, Marik, before I really give you something to whine about!"

"Whatever."

Yugi rolled his eyes at the two arguing, then went back to watching the scenery go by. As the trees stopped coming so fast and the grass took over more, a thought entered Yugi's mind. "Hey!" He blurted out, grabbing everyone's attention.

"What is it, Yugi?" Ryou asked.

"Remember when… when we were at the Ranger's Station and, Ryou, you asked what else was said? (They all nodded) Then we tapped into our item's power… if S.W.A.T hadn't come, would we have really sent that man to the shadow realm? I mean, really? Or were we just, like, trying to scare him?"

Malik tilted his head and sat back, "… Um… I don't know what you guys were doing, but I definitely would've."

Ryou nodded, "I was serious as well. Yugi…?"

He nodded, "I have no idea why. Ra knows Yami isn't terribly bright. And he's not always the bravest thing in creation, but… Yeah, I would've sent that Ranger to the shadow realm any day of the week."

Bakura wiped away an imaginary tear, "I think I'm going to cry."

"Hey, what do you mean by not terribly bright, Yugi?" Yami asked.

They waited for a second, but no one in the front seat heard a reply from Marik. They looked back to see what was going on and, to their surprise, Marik's face was buried in Malik's lap and sobs could be heard.

Malik was rolling his eyes, "Yeah… He's crying. This is so embarrassing…"

Marik looked up, "I-I am not c-crying…! It… That was j-just so damn beautiful… AaAAaaAA…! Augh…" 

Yami turned around, ignoring the other blubbering yami in the backseat, and looked at Yugi solemnly, "Um… Yugi, I have something for you."

"Really? What is it?"

He sighed and took the cell phone off from around his neck and put it in his hikari's hands. Yugi looked really confused, so Yami explained, "I wasn't very good. I wasn't as responsible as I know you wanted. So, here you go, I'm giving your cell phone back to you."

"What? Oh, Yami, you've got to be the most ridiculous person that I've ever met! C'mon, do you really think you weren't responsible? You did great! Marik and Bakura emerged virtually unharmed and it was all because of you, Yami."

"Uh… I-I, but Grandpa…!"

"Grandpa will be fine," Yugi scratched his head, "And yes, I did have a big scare at first but then I realized that Grandpa is old. When your time has come, your time has come. But… anyway, my point is, you did get him back. You disserve this."

The cell phone was placed back around Yami's neck and he fell into pure bliss. Screaming over and over again, "I did it! Yugi thinks I'm the Responsible One! He does, he told me!"

Marik and Bakura jointly told him to shut up.

Seven hours passed by extremely quickly. It was getting close to sunset, and the trees were growing darker in the shadows of the warm, orange sun. A gentle breeze swayed the loose and chipped paint of the once black Mercedes as it slowly pulled up into the driveway of Bakura and Ryou's house. They were the first two to be dropped off.

In the process of the long road trip, much moving around had been done and by the time they were back in Domino City, the hikaris were all up front and the (for some reason) silent yamis were all in back.

Ryou opened the car door, "Well, you guys…" He sighed as he got out, "It's been a blast, but I think next time we should take them with us, so this kind of thing doesn't happen anymore."

Yugi agreed, "They probably almost killed each other over the weekend. We're lucky. But, I don't think our 'bonding' plan worked very well. They still don't like each other at all."

"Next time we'll know better."

Malik and Yugi nodded, "Oh yeah."

"Hmm, c'mon, Bakura." Ryou called into the backseat, "Let's go home."

There was no response.

"Bakura."

Still nothing.

This time, all three hikaris called their yami's name and there was no response. Ryou opened the side door and looked inside, "Bakura, what are you… Oh! Ah ha ha ha ha!"

Malik, followed by Yugi looked back and their reaction was just as Ryou's. It seemed that Marik, Bakura, and Yami had fallen asleep. Bakura was in the middle of the seat, arms stretched over his head, while Yami's head was leaning on his shoulder and Marik was under Bakura's other arm, with his wounded leg elevated, leaning on and covering Yami's face.

Malik raised his eyebrows after they stopped laughing, "So, what was that about our bonding plan?"

"…We should do this more often."

THE END…

Her Sweetness: Ah, the wonders of an ending. Well, I sure hope you liked this little fic of mine. (Judging by the reviews, I'd say you've grown pretty fond of it.)

Now, I would like to tell you something. It's been about a year since I actually started writing fanfics and I think I want to celebrate! Yes, let's. Here's what I've got for you…

Further down this page, I will post titles, starring characters, genres and estimated chapters. Check that out, then, read below that for what's going on.

1.) Call On Me - Marik/Malik Yami/Yugi Ryou/Bakura Humor. Est. chapters: 15-20

2.) Deep Blooper Sea - Marik/Malik Humor. Est. chapters: 10-17

3.) Yamis Of The Dead - Everyone Humor. Est. chapters: 20

There we go! So, those are 3 fanfics I want to do. And I want YOU, the reader, to pick for me. Yes, I'm having a hard time deciding. So, when you review, just write the number you want. 1, 2, or 3. This will last for two days, after that, I'm getting to work! (Oh, and if you email me, I'll count your vote as double!)

Until then! 


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